ahream

When you write a series about paparazzi, you are, by extension, writing about celebrity. And as long as they keep doing crap like this, I will never run out of material:

L.A.’s gliteratti – including Paris Hilton who was wearing so much sparkly stuff on her cleavage it looked like someone had gilded her boobs – turned out to celebrate the launching of an ice pick.

Did you follow that? I’m not sure you followed that. Let’s go back.

Famous people showed up at a party, with journalists and photographers and living witnesses, to pay homage to a metal thingy you break ice with.

I couldn’t make that up. And if I did, you wouldn’t believe me.

It’s called the Jagger Dagger; was designed by Jade Jagger, daughter of the more famous Mick; is encrusted with diamonds, lapis lazuli and moonstone, and costs a quarter of a million dollars. The dagger will be used tableside at some fancy-pants restaurants when a magnum of a particular fancy-pants vodka is ordered to, you know, chip some ice into your glass.

Jagger was quoted in the L.A. Times as saying, “…there is amazing ice, and there is run-of-the-mill ice. So if you hand-carve good ice with a diamond-encrusted dagger, let me tell you, your drink tastes better.”

Really? You think you’d actually notice? ’Cause a magnum of anything is one-and-a-half liters. You drink one-and-a-half-liters of vodka, I’m thinking you’d have a hard time distinguishing your nose from your dick. But hey, what do I know?

ahream Dispatches from the City of Angels I'm a mystery writer living in and writing about Los Angeles. You can catch my short story, "Running Venice," in the new anthology LAndmarked for Murder. Look for it in bookstores and on Amazon.com now. In the meantime, feel free to poke around. Over at my website you can find even more blog entries than I could fit here, as well as a few other ramblings. Enjoy and come back often.
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Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (5) Most Recent Twitters: Reading Tony Broadbent's book, The Smoke. It's too good. I'm losing sleep. Nocturnal pattern shot to hell. Productivity declining. L.A. Finds: The Denver omelet at Pat's in Topanga is sublime in its simplicity. Exactly what you need and nothing else, much like the restaurant itself snuggled smack in the middle of an old hippie community where the peace signs and tie-dye still reign. Flickr Updates: The second Thursday of every month is the Downtown Art Walk. The galleries stay open late, the restaurants are packed, bands perform on the streets. God, I love L.A. What I'm Reading: The Smoke by Tony Broadbent What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami Want E-Mail Updates? Click here, type your e-mail address into the first field (for public entries) and receive an e-mail note each time a new blog post goes up. (Photo updates, Twitters and "L.A. Finds" features not included. Those you have to swing by and check yourself.) Absolutely, positively no spam. Promise. Other author blogs: Sue Ann Jaffarian Eric Stone Christa Faust Lipstick Chronicles		2008-04-28 5:57 PM I’m never going to run out of material… When you write a series about paparazzi, you are, by extension, writing about celebrity. And as long as they keep doing crap like this, I will never run out of material: L.A.’s gliteratti – including Paris Hilton who was wearing so much sparkly stuff on her cleavage it looked like someone had gilded her boobs – turned out to celebrate the launching of an ice pick. Did you follow that? I’m not sure you followed that. Let’s go back. Famous people showed up at a party, with journalists and photographers and living witnesses, to pay homage to a metal thingy you break ice with. I couldn’t make that up. And if I did, you wouldn’t believe me. It’s called the Jagger Dagger; was designed by Jade Jagger, daughter of the more famous Mick; is encrusted with diamonds, lapis lazuli and moonstone, and costs a quarter of a million dollars. The dagger will be used tableside at some fancy-pants restaurants when a magnum of a particular fancy-pants vodka is ordered to, you know, chip some ice into your glass. Jagger was quoted in the L.A. Times as saying, “…there is amazing ice, and there is run-of-the-mill ice. So if you hand-carve good ice with a diamond-encrusted dagger, let me tell you, your drink tastes better.” Really? You think you’d actually notice? ’Cause a magnum of anything is one-and-a-half liters. You drink one-and-a-half-liters of vodka, I’m thinking you’d have a hard time distinguishing your nose from your dick. But hey, what do I know? Read/Post Comments (5) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top