today was finals for nationals.
finals for everything. track, training, torture, hope... everything. today was the ending.
and i have to say i kinda hate this ending.
its not the results. really. it isnt. i'm actually very happy that we gave it our all and that we walked away with such a result. i didnt cry. and i didnt see anyone else crying either... kind of surprising given the tear storm last year when we learnt that we woulden be double champs.
i felt happy. and proud. of this team. of the fact that we went and gave it our best shot.
time really flies. i remember sec 1. we had double champs. but i didnt really know why. and i wasnt really happy... just mildy pleased... then sec 2. we had it again. and i was happier. more consious of what went into the title. and then sec 3. i was super upset. cried in public and all that. this year.... well. it was ok lor... i'm just glad we did out best.

and then. it had to be ruined. it just had to be.
u noe what
i get it. i totally get it.
she doesnt have to tell us to our faces. i think in our hearts, we know what she feels. i don't think we're unintelligent to the point where we cannot identify dislike towards us.
i am inclined to fall grieviously sick on farewell and reflection in order to avoid ever ever meeting her again.
i dunno la. it seems as if, we're like the downfall of everything. its never nice to feel like a disease which has to contained or eliminated...
i just want to get out. get out and go far far away.
i'll never come back. i noe it now.
and u may think its sad and all.
but the truth is. i've had enough of it too.
so my hope is to end this whole messed up relationship and never ever return. never again.
being a stnicks tracker is just going to be this faded part of my memory. other than that, it will be as if my entire cca life in sec school is a big huge blank.

this ending is so not a happily-ever-after.