i thought i'd already decided to just join softball and stick to it. but guess what. i haven't.
i have all these lingering second thoughts because of how time consuming i know it will be and how i may not be good at it and of course... strict strict coaches. i already had 4 years of that. and while i admit that i have come through a stronger person, the question still remains whether i want another 2 years like this bearing in mind that i'm an arts student, homework is going to be like 2000 word essays.
how the heck am i to manage all that when i reach home at 8, start work at 9, all tired out from training.

i know i have homework right now but i really cannot focus on anything. i have to think things through all over again.

my parents are asking me to quit because they say it'll take too much time and i cannot manage. i can see their point of view. but maybe i can?
my sister says quit too. but her reason is so that i can get a life. i really want to. i really do. but what the bloody heck am i to join then. i dunno.

someone save me. i am so bloody confused. no one can help me.

something inside of me still wants to be in sports. i guess i like how it helps me grow as a person. but the time.

i only have 24 hours a day. and i'm the sort of person who likes to pour lots of time into work to make it good. and if i don't have time.... i don't know what the hell is going to happen to my grades. people can say what they want. but i'm in jc because i need to get the grades, get to uni, get out. and since thats a main goal, i have to care.

so here i am. sitting in front of my com. a mumbo jumbo of emotions. pulling me this way and that.