Too much screaming, too little coherence in my last two posts...

Basically, I was dramatically overreacting to the possibility that I would continue to stay in France for the month of July instead of being back, working out my honours thesis, meeting people, whining about humidity and handing out souvenirs... It is really an amazing opportunity. Things are not concretely settled yet, but it's leaning towards happening...

A thousand things running through my head. I don't know how socially awkward it will be, how I will deal with it, what I will get out of it... whether I will be frustrated or happy or just awkward... But then. SEP has been such a leap into the dark. This is just... falling a little further into the abyss.

In the end... I'm excited about this, ref screaming. Wish me all the luck in the world. Which is why I'm not willing to walk away, even in the face of the boyfriend fallout. Or does that reflect a lack of commitment the other way? I don't know. The other day, as a way of carrying on the conversation, I asked if he thought we had grown more distant. I don't remember his answer. But when I think back about it, I realise I know my answer. It's probably kind of inevitable given the distance and the mad semesters we have both had.

Mad academic period over. In one instance, I described it as a deadline blizzard. I've never had it so bad in NUS. I don't know how I made it. Okay, no I do. Endless mugs of coffee, sheer unwillingness to miss a deadline and basically a feeling of "I don't want my professor to think I am completely moronic!"

6 months- just a blink of an eye if I live to a ripe old age of 60 or something. Haha. But I feel like I've been through so much and that so much still lies before me- Berlin, Munich, Vienna, Prague, London, Amsterdam, Rome... and then Loire. Europe in the glorious summer weather. A castle a day!

All this, makes me feel like I've used up my blessings quota for a lifetime. I am, just beyond grateful. There are no-