Dark Horse

Two instances but with incredible commons. Men. Losing my father to cancer, and meeting my husband.

They have more in common than most think. By losing the man I held dearest and as my greatest hero, I gained respect and depth, courage, bravery and willingness to love. We all come here able to love, but sadly as part of the human experience we learn through calamities and discourse. I had always thought I was healthy, but my ability to love was deepened by loss despite what I thought I had obtained, there was room for growth.

My father meant more to me than any other human being other than my mom of course; he was my hero, my ideal, the ultimate archetype of man to me. All things; kind, generous, loving, rugged, and brave and a pioneer he was genuine and solid in his human strength. Losing him made that archetype even more concrete for me. Even now I hold what he was as a bar to judge others, which I shouldn’t.

When I re-met my husband with that archetype deeply embedded in my ideals for a mate, it awoke all of the sensors and because I had felt loss, I was open to my husbands heart, I recognized all of those important things that he had within him, and I was brave enough to allow my normally guarded heart to fall madly, deeply and passionately in love with him even though we hadn't seen each other for 18 years and lived in different towns. This was something I was incapable of prior to experiencing loss. But loss and several years of viewing the event and trying to learn from it gave me the things I needed to not miss out on my life’s greatest opportunity.

We cannot change what is, but we can learn from it. I believe it was coined as "hardiness" am I correct? I miss dad, so much, but I cannot avoid the lesson that was placed in front of me because of the lack of him being here today. At best because of that event I have the love of my life which I hold to very dearly and not one single moment goes by for me that is taken for granted. I revel in each and every event, circumstance and moment. Nothing is lost, because I’ve experienced loss, I miss nothing in this life.

If any of you are willing to share; I would love to hear yours. Love and Light, T

Dark Horse The life and times of a meditative horse trainer. I'm a second generation born and raised Alaskan. I've very proud of that, my roots are here. While I want to see as much of the world as I can, I want to raise my children here. I'm a dedicated student of the horse, of life and I love to learn. I try to leave no stone unturned in my life. Nothing is good if taken at just face value there is always more, to people, an animal, a thought, a dream. I'm an intensity junky, I live my life with passion as if every action were my very last, and I love the colors that this passion has brought to me. It's my hope to share this small window of myself with my readers. If you surfed in please make yourself at home and stay a while, if your one of my loved one's who are here, I love you for all you have educated me in to make my life this amazing.
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Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0)		2008-02-08 7:34 AM What event, or decision, has made the most dramatic impact on your life? Two instances but with incredible commons. Men. Losing my father to cancer, and meeting my husband. They have more in common than most think. By losing the man I held dearest and as my greatest hero, I gained respect and depth, courage, bravery and willingness to love. We all come here able to love, but sadly as part of the human experience we learn through calamities and discourse. I had always thought I was healthy, but my ability to love was deepened by loss despite what I thought I had obtained, there was room for growth. My father meant more to me than any other human being other than my mom of course; he was my hero, my ideal, the ultimate archetype of man to me. All things; kind, generous, loving, rugged, and brave and a pioneer he was genuine and solid in his human strength. Losing him made that archetype even more concrete for me. Even now I hold what he was as a bar to judge others, which I shouldn’t. When I re-met my husband with that archetype deeply embedded in my ideals for a mate, it awoke all of the sensors and because I had felt loss, I was open to my husbands heart, I recognized all of those important things that he had within him, and I was brave enough to allow my normally guarded heart to fall madly, deeply and passionately in love with him even though we hadn't seen each other for 18 years and lived in different towns. This was something I was incapable of prior to experiencing loss. But loss and several years of viewing the event and trying to learn from it gave me the things I needed to not miss out on my life’s greatest opportunity. We cannot change what is, but we can learn from it. I believe it was coined as "hardiness" am I correct? I miss dad, so much, but I cannot avoid the lesson that was placed in front of me because of the lack of him being here today. At best because of that event I have the love of my life which I hold to very dearly and not one single moment goes by for me that is taken for granted. I revel in each and every event, circumstance and moment. Nothing is lost, because I’ve experienced loss, I miss nothing in this life. If any of you are willing to share; I would love to hear yours. Love and Light, T Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top