I have always joked that Valentines Day is where hell and the holidays collide. Yes it's true this currently soft, sentimental and sweet red headed girl used to stomp around in stilletos being mean to boys on the most romantic of holidays by refusing their flowers. I've been on Valentines day strike my whole life actually, and I can't say why. Marriage has softened me in more ways than one, it seems as though I'm turning over a new candy heart...

St. Valentine himself who the holiday is named after is shrouded in mystery, the Catholic Church recognizes three saints that are close in common with St. Valentine. All three were martyred – which we all know isn’t a fun way to meet your maker.

There is much speculation of course that it was a springtime Pagan tradition called Lupercalia, where a goat was sacrificed in the cave that Romulus and Remus were believed to be raised; sliced up, and men ran about a village slapping women with pieces of goat. The women didn’t fear this on account of it believed to make them more fertile in the next year. Now that I learned that piece of knowledge the whole cards and candy thing don’t seem so bad do they? A bit of jewelry and chocolate beats being slapped with raw meat any day.

Before I get too far off the subject, the Catholic Church in the desire to eradicate all of the Pagan traditions (the joke is on them, we still have Halloween!) proclaimed it Valentines Day. In honor of St. Valentine who some believe died in prison for marrying lovers in secret. The reason he married them in secret? Because Emperor Claudius II believed that single men made better soldiers and forbade young men from marrying. Intelligent don’t you think? Good thing his army was so good, soldiering is a risky business, if you lose too many soldiers and legal procreation has been banned it makes it tough to rebuild an army don’t you think?

At any rate, who’s to say my speculation, is wrong and yours is right? Too much mystery, there is even a church in Ireland called Whitefriar in Dublin where on Valentines Day you can view a casket that is said to hold St. Valentines ashes.

The main point of this entire history lesson is this. It’s a holiday of love, passion and celebrating that you have love in your life. So why not spread that love? Yes of course I’m still going to bake a heart shaped cake, give a card etc. but this year instead of doing just that I’m also going to be grateful that I have love in my life and pass a bit of it on. Like take a moment and be grateful that you are capable of being loved and that you are loveable. Perhaps the greatest gift of all is being loved, but the world is full of people who do not believe they are lovable for some reason or another. Why don’t some of us this year reach out for a moment on the most “romantic day of the year” and help someone else understand that they are loveable? It could be an anonymous Valentine, or a bouquet of flowers send to someone who you know may deserve them. Ultimately – perform a gesture of love, because as above so below as within so without. What you send off, will come back to you. If you wish to be loved, do something that can help you love yourself.

And if those ideas fail you – you can always be thankful there isn’t a boy you have a crush on chasing you with a strip of goat meat. I know I will be thankful of such a lack of event in my life, but I will also be holding you in the greatest most gentle light with the kindest of prayers.