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2011-04-28 6:23 PM
Blah-g # 236 Happy Birthday Dr. Tunah Catfish and update

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Three Wednesdays ago was my birthday. I am 22 years old now. I went to bed crying and sobbing. I had nightmares. I woke up feeling like crap and still tired. I was in class most of the day. Then mum took me to go put gas in the car and then I got a camera that I ended up switching it out last Wednesday for another one. I kind of didn’t like it because it took double A batteries.. She went to drop me off at the house so I could nap, while she was busy with my nana. Then around 3 my friend Steph came over and me, my mom, my brother and Steph started our trek to Sycuan Casino. We had a really fun time listening to my music on ChocoZune.
It was hilarious that they didn’t let my brother in because he didn’t have an ID card so, he had to wait in the car while me, mum and Steph got to go eat. Some old man gave me a knife and then later on he gave me a caramel apple lollipop. It was creepy as all hell. Then my mum told our annoying waitress that it was my birthday and they all ended up singing Happy Birthday to me everyone said “Happy birthday Tuna” except my mum , she said my birth name. The waitress gave me a slice of chocolate cake drowned in sprinkles that hurt my teeth. I usually never eat sprinkles but I made an exception since it was my birthday. Then me and Steph got up to use the restroom, Steph went with me so I wouldn’t get lost and my mum went to the car to keep my brother company, so when me and Steph got back to the table the waitress THOUGHT we left and dumped everything so I was pretty bugged about it since I really wanted to get more prime rib. Steph gave me 20$ to gamble which really wasn’t fun. Well it was but I didn’t like to lose my money, though I ended up losing about 50cents which wasn’t bad considering most people just lose everything they have.
My mom called me and told me my sister “hit” one of my younger brothers’ in the face and apparently dislocated his jaw. So there Steph and me go getting to the car and driving off to realize that Steph had left her glasses on the table before we had gone to the restroom. Mum drove us back and got Steph’s glasses back but with a giant nasty grease stain on it and back down we drove. As soon as we got home Hoopla seemed alright but scared of my sister. My mum then decorated my Darth Vader birthday cake which was FREAKING AWESOME! It was triple chocolate fudge and then frosted with triple chocolate chip frosting. I also showed Steph my meagerly small collection of jewelry stuff, and took Nibblet’s out of his cage to let Steph hold him. It was funny because I tried to feed him a carrot and as I took him back to his cage he pooped on me. After that we ate cake and watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit. She left with about 10-15 minutes to the end of the movie because she was getting tired. I ended up staying up again til 1am.
The rest of the week was tame. Even with the workload of homework, which I’m actually still working on. I didn’t do any of it during my spring break. I really don’t want to do it but Master raised a very valid point of series of events: If I didn’t do my homework, I shouldn’t be going to college. Since I wouldn’t be going to college, then I shouldn’t be living at home, since I shouldn’t be living at home I should move in with Master, if I don’t want to move in with Master then he would leave me.
Of course, He only says that because I go into dark angry negative depressions that spiral out of control and He feels that it’s only to shock me back into a “baseline” of emotional calmness. He explained it as slapping a hysterical person. Only it’s not a physical slap but a verbal slap.
Other than my over bearing workload of homework and another depression episode, I guess I’m alright. I’ve been hanging out with Steph as much as I can. We had a lot of fun. We went to the mall and hung out for a bit. Then the second time we went to the beach and got a few shells and rocks. Just yesterday we went back to the beach, didn’t get much of anything since the tide was high and we ended up frolicking in the water. It was cold but we had a lot of fun. I found a few cool looking rocks and two sand dollars. I also bought two wooden roses: a black one for Master and a yellow-orange one for His mom. I have a big rock that’s flat on the bottom but round on top and I want to wax it and give it to His dad as a paper weight because it’s black with grayish-white swirls.
I also have many shells that I want to share with His mom since if I keep them here they’ll get lost or broken or thrown away. I really don’t want them to be thrown away, but I think I might have to get some wax (that Steph told me to use car wax in a tin) to keep the shells and rocks shiny. Because I like shiny things.
I’ve also been obsessed with reading many ghost stories and urban legends and such. I’m not really sure why. Mostly to pass the time but I like it. I also want to start ghost hunting in earnest. I know I’ve made broken promises of doing it but now with my new Sony Cybershot camera and an old voice tape recorder and my netbook with its own voice recorder and a program to generate white, pink, brown, waterfall and spritcom noise. The only things I feel I would need would be to get a thermal camera, a camcorder with night vision, a digital voice recorder, and EKG reader.
Master says we can go during his days off, which makes me very happy since we were too hot and icky last summer and too lazy during winter break.
And as far as art is concerned I really haven’t been in any mood to draw or write. It also has to again do with my homework load. I’m to the point where all I do is actually just homework, sleeping, eating, and helping with chores I guess. I just don’t have the time to sit down and do “fun stuff” as Master calls it, to just let my brain veg out. Which kind of bothers me and pushes me deeper into these angry negative depression cycles and without time to just let my brain have a break from thinking and analyzing and just to have fun without really thinking takes it toll on me.
My knee also feels a lot of better. I was finally able to get on my hands and knees yesterday. Which was surprising since I haven’t done that for a long while before I fell and hurt my knee. But it does seem better and doesn’t hurt at all when I shiver or sneeze.
I’ve also made a lot of connections between some of the strange things that happen in my house. That whatever entity that’s in my room seems to prefer it in chaos than when my room is clean. I say this from factual evidence that ever since my room has gotten dirty again the entity makes itself less known than when I was cleaning my room with my mom steam cleaning the rug when we felt a great feeling of malevolence. I also think that having Nibblet’s is also a deterrent since there really haven’t been much activity in my room other than a few thing’s moving from place to place.
The playroom, garage, living room, and kitchen window have gotten strong in feeling of dark malevolence. For the longest time since I came back from Williamsport I would NOT want to go into the playroom, garage or living room. Last night I finally broke down to sit down on the sofa since sitting on the dining room table hurt my rear end, I felt like someone was watching me from the playroom. I took a couple pictures but I didn’t see anything show up.
As much activity we have I don’t think they really are ghosts. I think its just left over negative energy from the tenant before us. Apparently, the owner of the house had a son who lived here and dealt drugs from the house as we’ve had a police raid within the first 2 years of living here. That was a very scary experience. Not to mention upsetting since the police made of mess of the rooms and broke a few of my porcelain dolls. So this makes me think that the negativity that has manifested itself here is that of the drug dealer and most possibly his clients.
Then with the rest of the negativity of the rest of my family just gives it more to feed from thus giving the feeling of dark malevolence. But this doesn’t explain some other things such as after I recovered from my two bouts of Tonsillitis, I was able to see many shadow people around the campus of the college I’m attending. Or during last summer when I heard Master clearly say “I love you” in my head when saying it physically would have not been possible due to distance and noise around us. Or just the overall picking up on people’s emotions or again with Master some physical symptoms.
I’ve also been able to open what I feel to be my third eye, which for some freakish reason first opened while I was dosing off at the airport waiting to head back to San Diego from Philly. Last Sunday I went to attend a religious ceremony for my Jehovah Witness aunt and her family. I was so bored (mostly because the service was in Spanish so it really didn’t hold much of my attention) that I began to meditate as much as I could and was able to open my third eye and create a marble sized psi ball. I felt the energy build and compress itself into my hand. It was slightly tingly in feeling in the middle of my palms.
So I’ve gotten slight grade updates and I have two A’s, one in the writing class and in the reading class. I’m not to sure about the math class but I think I’m doing pretty good. I only have a couple more weeks of class then finals and then hopefully off to PA for another summer with Master. I do have to get some things in order before I can go though.
Anyways I guess that’s about it for now since I need to get back to my homework. I’m not sure the next time I’ll be posting again. At least until finals are over I won’t be so swamped.

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