Still (sur)Rendering

All great truths begin as blasphemies.
George Bernard Shaw
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There is nothing to read here. The content is over there, to your right.

I may, however, at some point, put something here. Some day. Eventually. No pressure.


buddha v. twain

I'm not a fan of newsletters delivered to my email inbox. Having said that, there is one subscription I receive, have received for more than a year. It's "Buddhist Wisdom" from Beliefnet. I'm not a buddhist but it is the spiritual path I have the strongest affinity for.

Some days, the quotes/proverbs seem to require more thought than I feel like putting into them.. other times, they're short and cutting. Regardless, I end up saving most of them in a folder that I read through occasionally, most often when I'm feeling shattered.

Tonight, these two echoed with something inside that I'm still attempting to find a voice for:


Life responds when we risk.
-Rodney Smith, "Lessons From the Dying"

And better than a hundred years
lived without seeing
arising and passing away, is
one day
lived seeing
arising and passing away.

-Dhammapada, 113, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

Not so subtle, is it? No, no it's really not. Fear works it's magic dualism of motivating yet immobilizing me. If you look at me, if you peer closely, you'll see the vibrations, the tremors that are the manifestation of my static displacement.

I am in that infinite yet infinitesimal space between potential and kinetic.

Sounds cool when I say it like that. What it translates to is mundane: I am hesitating.




Discussing day dreams with another journaller (yes, I've decided that the double "L" is the way to spell it) at another site. Day dreams (not of the sexual fantasy type which we've judged to be a different beast entirely) and what they mean in terms of our psyche. We're debating the possibility that short of having a full-blown psychological 'issue', perhaps we're capable of being our own therapists. Scrutinizing the themes, places, persons, colours in our day dreams must be useful in self assessment, right?

Throwing Jung and Freud out the window, we've settled on the Twainian ("That's DOCTOR Clemens to you!") school of analysis - observation and wild conjecture are the tools of our trade.

It really has been a serious discussion; fears, regrets, truths. We just casually throw in humour and irony to keep ourselves honest.

I don't why I'm mentioning it now. Or here. Maybe because I know it's not going to endure. The half-life of internet friendships is inversely proportional to your internet connection speed. And it's a pity, really. He is articulate and interesting.

Am I already mourning the end of a friendship that's just started?

How typically me.



soundtrack: m-i-l snoring


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