I was a little cranky a couple of hours ago. I woke up more rested than I had in a long while. I was running on high octane and then my Hospice Nurse came and consumed so much of my precious energy that I retreated to bed for about an hour. (BTW, it wasn't her fault - it's just how it is these days.)

It's so discouraging. I was in high gear and prepared to do so many things I enjoy doing... and then I slumped from fatigue.

I've learned that my mornings are sacred to me. If I have a shot at doing the things I want to do, it has to be fresh in the morning - not after a groggy nap - it has to be fresh in the morning. I've always been a morning person and an afternoon person and a night person and a middle-of-the-night person. I could tap into reserves of energy at any given moment. But I'm now limited.



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Two nights ago an unexpected storm bullied the Cumberland Plateau. I tremble a bit when these storms arrive at night. I was all alone in the house. Linda is with her granddaughters having a marvelous time, and Brian was on vacation. I don't mind being alone, but my oxygen needs are huge. If I lose power, the window to hook up to one of the tanks is small. I was dismayed with myself when I discovered that the extraordinary flashlight Andy had given me needed to be charged. I didn't want to risk going to the apartment to get the large flashlight there - it would've taken me too far from my back-up tanks.

We didn't lose power, but the stress bludgeoned my nerves a bit.



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One of my Facebook friends, Maggie Turner, posted the following this morning. It's quite amazing and favors thoughts I've recently considered.





By Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918


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This is a second quote Maggie also recently posted. She has a knack for finding the most interesting quotes!

"I am a part of all that I have met."

Lifted from Google: In Ulysses, a dramatic monologue detailing the Greek hero's escapades, Tennyson succinctly offers his view that humans are shaped by a combination of all life's experiences.



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These two quotes are thought provoking. And the following are some of the thoughts I considered - meshed together.

I love my home. It's more than just the art, though, that inspires this love of mine. In addition to the visual pleasure the collection infuses into my days, I've always felt that more than just a canvas or sculpture enters my home. I've written about this before - the impact of feeling that a portion of the artist's very soul arrives and resides with me. I feel that way about people who come to my home, too.

As I enjoy my home every day, I will sometimes sit perfectly still. I become as deaf as possible to the throbbing concentrators. And then I imagine myself away... that I'm no longer seated at my desk or in my living room or stretched on my bed to rest. I try to imagine that all there is in my home are the contents. It's not an easy exercise because of the distractions, and who wants to wish themselves away?

Holland's piece invited me to realize that I never really will be gone. That every time my family and friends enter my home, my essence will welcome them. I consider Holland's words some of the most powerful I've ever read. They gave me comfort. I can't improve upon his words with my sloppy, sentimental reflections. He writes it all so well. But I do understand now that my hospitality and good humor and love will live forever.



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Being on 26LO2 stinks. For the first time since my diagnosis, I've nearly fallen several times. Today I tripped and coffee splashed over the lip of my cup. I was relieved it landed on hardwood instead of carpet. I bent over to mop up the tiny puddle. Bending over is extremely difficult for IPF patients because our organs are already cramped by lungs that are hardening and offer no resistance. It was like holding my breath and diving underwater while I mopped. I've changed footwear, which I think will help prevent a reoccurrence.

For all my whining (which I actually think I do very little), I have so much gratitude that I'm still in my home and that I have so many people that love and watch over me. My friend Nancy is going to try to recruit people to spend the night with me because nights are the only time I truly feel vulnerable. Yikes! My good friend Sue should be arriving any minute with dinner to share with me - so I need to wrap this up!

Oh! Here are a couple of engagement photos of Olivia & David. I love that they are so in love.






























This is one of my favorites because Olivia and David are in an urban setting with lots of activity swirling around them... yet they have eyes only for each other. *sigh*



As always, thanks for stopping by.