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Location: Home.
Listening: Silence, punctuated with rat wheel squeakings.

Winding down into late Saturday night. We just returned from a large meal at our local Mexican place, Mi Lupita, where Yaga had his customary chicken fajitas, and I tried the steak picado. Yum.

So far, things are still seemingly out of whack. Friday, I took off an hour early to run errands. Yaga and I ended up having a lengthy talk in which he expressed some personal frustrations with some of my habits of thought and action (rather, thought and inaction). I listened and am still ruminating on them. I agree with 99% of what he said and am now trying to move myself to make some concrete decisions about my life that are influenced more by my desire for my future as opposed to other people's desires. I'll admit to feeling a little lost and more than a little apprehensive. It occurs to me that I haven't really made a decision for myself in a very long time.

Eliot seems to be doing well. Her sneezing has abated somewhat, and we've been keeping her to her antibiotic schedule. I just finished reading about some holistic methods of fighting this infection (echinacea, goldenseal, and raw garlic crushed into her food to bolster her immune system and a drop or two of rosemary in her shavings to act as a vaporizer) that have worked for more seasoned rat-keepers, so I might try one or two of them in addition to the Baytril (which, I've discovered, is similar to Cipro for humans). She's very energetic, eating and drinking regularly, and otherwise in good spirits, so I'm optimistic that she'll get through this eventually.

I'm realizing that I need to get serious about job-searching. I revised my resume a while back and posted it, but have had only two calls (which I didn't return as I wasn't interested in the prospects), so I'm thinking it's time for another revision and another approach. I intend to solicit Yaga's help, as he seems to have much more confidence in my abilities than I, and certainly a more experienced touch than I (even after all this time). I'm a little apprehensive about this as well, as I've almost never asked anyone for help on something like this. I'm twenty-six and feel like I'm learning lessons I should have had by now.

All in all, it's been a nice day. We walked down the beach this morning to the cafe at the Long Beach Museum of Art for Cokes and sandwiches and then returned home and watched Not Another Teen Movie, which had its moments. We then promptly fell asleep, curled up together on the bed. I commented later to Yaga that we looked like a Gap ad--he was half-sitting, with his glasses on and one arm curled over his head while I had my head on his chest, one hand against his stomach, and my legs tangled up with his--and he mentioned that he had had the same thought. I've learned to value cuddling much more lately--a trait that I've really never displayed--and I think it has something to do with needing some form of physical reassurance as so many things shift and change around me. Fortunately, Yaga is expert at such things, being arguably the cuddliest boy I've ever met, so I'm lucky. I'm lucky concerning everything about him, really, but seem to always end up noticing things one at a time. I'm glad that I keep noticing them.

I'm rambling, so off to read or perhaps watch Ali on DVD. If I don't write tomorrow, Feliz Cinco de Mayo (Happy Mexican Independence Day). Try to raise a tequila or a Tecate and yell "Down with those Spanish sons of dogs!" at least once this weekend. That's what pretty much all of L.A. will be doing, anyway.