I'm weary of wondering whether the new year will be "different" "better" etc. I'm tired of wondering the same about tomorrow or even tonight as opposed to today.

In this very moment, life sucks. This moment that I'm in, that is holidng me, that I'm holding(?), whatever it is - I want all of the yucky stuff to just go the hell away and leave me alone.

Oh I can think of reasons for optimism, new possibilities, etc. I could make a resolution for the next moment.

But then I contemplate how reactive it all is, even what seems proactive - setting goals, etc. I'm not against them, but so much of the time they are just polite ways of saying like will be ok if things are better or I'm better, and consequently of trying to live in the never never land of the past and future.

So, paradoxically, I hereby resolve that I will, for just this moment, as I write, sit with all the things I don't want, making no plans, no oaths to the future, no clinging to projected hopes.

Now as soon as I finish this sentence the moment's up. And something is telling me a cookie will make that next moment much more better.

I wish you all the best in your next moment.