I started this entry a few minutes ago, then felt guilty because I haven't done anything writing related in at least a week. So I clicked over to Strong Verse and submitted a few of my poems that have been hanging around, including that one I wrote last week. I'm not convinced of its worth, but then again, sometimes I'm not so great at judging my own work, so I figured what the heck. It also occurred to me that I have a poem that's been out at least six months, and I should probably do something about that.

Last night I had a dream that the editor from TOR called me, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. Did she want to buy my book or was she just asking me to rewrite it again? I was trying to ask her to repeat what she'd said, but I could never get a word in edgewise.

Writer anxiety dreams.

Instead of writing, I have been following an unexpected thread that has suddenly appeared in our lives: I recently discovered I was pregnant. We weren't expecting this, and it was a little daunting to realize in the middle of all these moving preparations, which have our house looking like a storage facility -- furniture grouped so fetchingly in the center of almost every room for the painters, and boxes everywhere. I've had a couple incidents of bleeding, too, which haven't helped my sense of mental health. After one of them (Monday) I went to see my doctor, who did an ultrasound and said, in that wonderful low-key way of his, "Well, I'm seeing what I want to see, but it looks like you have three sacs here!"

"Three???" I squeaked.

"Well... One of them might just be fluid. I don't think it's triplets. Probably twins."

Twins? Spineless coward that I am, I made him tell my husband.

Yesterday I had another ultrasound with more sensitive equipment to confirm things, and also to get a sense of timing, as my dates were all screwed up. (Unexpected, as I said. Everything should have been "safe".) "Were you taking Clo-Med?" the tech asked me. (I couldn't see the screen.)

"No," I said.

"Do twins run in your family?"

"Um, not really," I said.

"Well, they do now!" And she turned around and gave me a big grin.

It's so early, though, that you could just barely see the tiniest flutter of a beating heart in both sacs. My daughter, however, has been telling complete strangers that her mommy is preg-a-nant with twins, so I suppose it can't hurt to spill the beans online either. If she could type, she'd probably do it for me.

In the middle of all this, we've been interviewing real estate agents and confirming our suspicion that home prices here are running a bit lower than they are in New York, and we're wondering how the heck we're going to afford enough space for all of us, now that -- if everything goes well -- we will be a family of seven within the year. We had our eye on one house, thinking the price tag was such that we would be able to add on to it right away, but it turns out that it's right on a busy highway. And I say again, what is it with these people? Are there no back roads? Does no one live on those back roads? Does no one move from those back roads???

In any case, preparations are continuing apace. The painters are finished, but one of the realtors we interviewed deducted points for our choice of color, even though it's a neutral. I contacted three moving companies today and we'll be getting estimates in the next few days, even though I don't know the exact address of our rental. My mom and dad are coming up over Easter to help with last minute preparations. The nausea isn't terrible right now, but I'm only at 5 weeks. Usually I don't start being sick until 6 weeks, so this is a bit early for me. Doubtless it will get worse, and I will be forced to only eat something weird, like chicken sandwiches from McDonald's, the way I did with my daughter.

I have a lot of things to learn in the next few months. Just, if you're the praying sort, maybe you could say a couple of prayers that we'll find a nice house that's NOT on a busy road?