No, I'm not talking about Iraq, or any of the Arab, Mideastern, or Persian countries who have it in for the U.S. - relax.

But I sure as hell AM about to go on a tirade, so buckle up.

I'm talking about all you ex-Dodgers out there, who kick-ass somewhere else, then suck when you come to beautiful Chavez Ravine, then proceed to kick-ass again after we've traded you with the ostensible value of a flaming bag of dog feces.

Why do they hate us?

And yes, I'm looking right at YOU, Jeromy Burnitz. I mean Jesus, you can't even spell your name right and we STILL took you on.

If you take a look at Dodger Blues today, you'll see that Burnitz hit .202 with the Dodgers. Last night, Burnitz, now a Rockie, connected for his 3rd homer in 3 games against his former team. It was also something like his 6th game in a row to homer, and he's hit homers in 8 of the last 9 games. Don't quote me on that precisely, but it's something ridiculous. The Dodgers lost. They're starting their annual loss-of-grip on first, and I hold Jeromy entirely responsible. He's already hit 26 homers on the season. THIS season, not last season. This is just unacceptable.

Burnitz is only the latest of a long list - the one notable exception being Kevin Brown, who's having a typical Dodger Kevin Brown year (i.e. injured) now that he's a traitor, er, Yankee.

But this ex-Dodger problem has seriously gotten out of hand. I'm gonna have to issue a fatwa if this keeps up.

Oh, and Eric Neel has a great column on ESPN Page 2 about the current Randy Johnson situation. 'Couldn't have said it better myself. Thank god he wrote this, so I didn't have to use more time not doing work.


In other news, I got personalized emails from none other than Bill Clinton AND John Edwards - both in a 48 hour period and both the morning after they gave keynote addresses at the DNC! What a coincidence! I must be a pretty important person for them each to take time out of their busy schedules in Boston to throw me a line. Thanks, guys!

Seriously though, Edwards hit all the right notes last night. As far as public speaking goes even he's no Clinton, but unlike Clinton right now he & Kerry have a very specific issue-driven script that they have to follow to lure all those swing votes. Kerry needs to homer one out of the park Burnitz-style tonight. I wish I could say I'm more optimistic...but we'll see.