i don't usually post on my birthday, i don't make a fuss about it, but today i thought i'd do a little rumination.

once i turned forty, i haven't kept up with the years. i literally have to subtract my birth year from the present year to figure out how old i am. i think my sister stopped keeping track about the same time (her birthday was the 4th and she is exactly 10 years and 10 days older than me)

the fact is, i don't have the "hollywood" capabilities (money) to look the same as i did when i was 25. but i do have good genes. my grandmother never looked her age, tho i suppose, once you get past 90, looking 10 years younger really doesn't make that big of a difference. my mother never looked her age either, but she (partially) owes thanks to estee lauder for that.

i too didn't look my age for a long time. most people credited that to my "young at heart" personality (immaturity). i credit a great deal of that to my 8 years my junior husband (i was a cougar before being a cougar was cool) which has helped me with the "young at heart" part...while my other friends have older husbands and are content to settle down in a rocker on the front porch, i still wanted to do fun things, like live concerts and music festivals.

but the stresses and strains of the last two years (not too mention a wee bit too much vodka) have finally brought me up to looking my age. i feel in less than two years, i've aged 10.

it's not that i mind being 44, i don't. with age comes that lovely thing (that's supposed to get you through getting older) wisdom. have i mastered it? no, but i'm a long way from where i was. there comes a certain comfort with oneself.

your 20's are for experimentation (something i didn't do nearly enough of) your 30's are for introspection, and your 40's are for acceptance.

acceptance is good.

;-)