So I went ahead and rented that apartment. I think it's going to be really good. I move in in about a month, and then all my money goes away! Aside from the money issue, though, I'm really excited. I just feel so, well, jubilant right now. The first day or so after signing and handing in the divorce papers I was just in an altered state -- so groggy and mixed up. And then I found the apartment and just went for it, and at the same time I think I finally let go of something about the divorce. I mean, I still would kind of like to do some last activity with my ex, maybe go see Star Wars or something, as a closure kind of a thing. For a couple of days I felt like I was still trying to hang on to _something_ about it, I'm not sure what, just having a hard time completely letting it go, letting him go, even knowing it was the right thing to do. But then, something shifted. I think naming it, realizing that I was holding on to something in it. And I woke up one morning and just felt wonderful and light: no burdens. It helped to have rented the apartment, that's for sure, but it was also just really about not having the burden of the divorce, the burden of the marriage, anymore.

It was pretty f***ing great, that's what it was. And it still is. I feel fabulous. School will be out in just over a week and my vacation will start. I have a new place to move into that's all mine. I have a new life to begin. Or maybe to continue.

*Sighing contentedly*