So, I had written about half of my long entry about the party and I accidentally closed the window I was working in on Journalscape. I am now going to start doing what Jed does, which is to write the entries separately and then post them. That way, I won’t lose my whole damn entry! So what I want is to write it all again, but what I also want is to go finish cleaning up the back yard at Jessie & Stewart’s. Mostly it’s in pretty good shape, but there are several lawn chairs to be put away. So I’m going to go do that and finish this later.

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Okay, it’s later now. Actually it’s the next day. Is it Wednesday already? Holy cow. My how time flies when you’re trying to catch up on sleep!

The Party: First of all, there were so many people who helped out, especially in the getting-ready department… It was great to have a bunch of people working on different things over the course of the several days preceding the party. The only time anybody felt overwhelmed was on Sunday, the day of. Both my sister and I had moments where we just burst into tears feeling overwhelmed by what was left and really wanting the other one around to help out at that moment (despite the fact that we both had been putting in tremendous amounts of effort and work for days). Luckily, we’ve worked out how to communicate well to each other, so when one of us was falling apart the other one of us was able to be supportive and present. I was talking to Jed about this later on, and he had the idea that when planning a party, there should be one person whose only job is to make sure people eat. I think this is an excellent idea, because I know that when I’m in the throes of something like that, I often feel like I don’t have time to eat, or I’m not really hungry, even though I need sustenance. I’ve heard from several people that they hardly ate a thing at their own weddings (I didn’t eat much at mine, either). And I didn’t eat much at this party, either, although the food was really good. I just didn’t feel that hungry. Sigh.

I think in order to keep this from becoming novel-length, I’m going to have to limit myself to highlights of the party. For me, one of the highlights was wearing the “Colette” pasties, featured on TwirlyGirl.net’s Classic Pasties product page under a fairly sheer little open-front top in kind of a dark coral color. I found the top and the black wide-leg pants to wear with it at Urban Outfitters earlier that morning. Hooray for finally finding an outfit I liked! I looked fabulous, which was the point. And sparkly, too, from the body glitter I had left over from last year’s trip to Vegas with the gals! My sister also wore pasties, under a very pretty sheer floral top -- her “Baroque” pasties looked almost like slightly darker flowers, but a little more, um, hot mama-esque. We almost got a couple of the other women to put pasties on under their tops, but no go. Ah well… but everybody dressed as the invitation suggested (Dress: Fabulous), whatever that meant to them. So it was fun. It’s just fun to play dress-up!

Besides the clothes (or lack thereof), another big highlight was the food. We did have a slight (ha! about an hour) delay on the salmon being ready, due to some charcoal/barbecue failure, but I excellently delegated the job of fixing the problem to my darling brother Mario and my equally darling brother-in-law Stewart, and voila! I didn’t have to do a thing! Luckily, we had other food, including: a passel of roasted chicken legs (mmm, crispy and salty and organically delicious!); an amazing barley/corn salad made by Cynthia; a green salad with goat cheese, freshly roasted pecans, dried cranberries and my new signature balsamic syrup vinaigrette; a dish of lovely vegetarian manicotti sent over from Pasta Mike (our local fresh pasta maker, who happens to be Ayn’s brother); chilled asparagus with Jessica’s signature lemon cream sauce; a ton of fresh fruit including blueberries and organic strawberries, peaches and watermelon…. and as soon as it was done, 14 pounds of fresh local wild-caught salmon. We only had about four pounds left, which we managed, somehow, to choke down over the last few days. Poor us. As my aunt Ad said when I was concerned about having too much left over, “Well, as you know, leftover salmon in the fridge is like money in the bank.”

So that takes care of the clothes and the food -- all that’s left to talk about is the people and the music! Well, there were somewhere between 30 and 35 people all told, including the kids, and everybody behaved themselves. Lots of family and extended family and friends. There were definitely people who were missing that I had really wanted to see, and of course, friends from far away who just couldn’t make it, but it still turned out to be a good mix. And yes, the subject of “Whiskey and Kissin’” did show up (without his wife). And I did sing the song when we were jamming. But I told him about it ahead of time. I started to feel weird about it, and like I would be playing a trick on him if I surprised him with it, and that just isn’t the person I want to be. So when I was trying to convince him to stay for the jamming, I told him I had a couple of originals to do. He asked when I’d written them, and I told him one was in November, about leaving my ex, and the other was written about a more recent experience. He got it right away… he wasn’t sure he wanted to stay to hear it, but I encouraged him to stick around, because I thought he would like the song. But at least he had the option, and he knew it was coming. It was a big hit at the party, and later he told me he thought it was a good song and could be a hit, and was really catchy, and had a good hook. So, there you have it. Not everyone there knew it was about him, at least not until later, after he’d gone, but I think it was okay that way. A few people who did know the story said they were glad to hear that I’d told him about it ahead of time, because they had felt a little bit mean thinking it was a surprise to him. He played a really pretty break, too.

So that all worked out fine. The thing is, at some point, it became not about him anymore. It’s still a funny story, and I have no qualms about telling it, but I’m so totally over the actual thing that happened. And I think he gets that, which makes me feel good, too. I finally feel completely and totally single and available, too, which is great. I’m just ready now. Ready to pursue flirtation and romance and weird kissing experiences which turn out to make great song-fodder and maybe even some true love, too.

It was really fun throwing that party. And it was great to have the experience of my relationship with my ex coming full circle, and finally ending. There were several people at this party who hadn’t seen each other since my wedding, so that seemed appropriate in some weird way, too. And I did a little ritual with the last bottle of champagne left over from my wedding (good champagne too, Veuve Cliquot, my favorite!), where everybody got a little bit of it in a glass and I talked about the years I had with my ex (“six long years of misery and wonderfulness”) and then I made a toast to him and wished him a future of happiness and had everybody pour out the champagne on to the ground without sipping it. And I also poured out what was left in the bottle. And then I told everybody I had my own local Anderson Valley sparkling wine (Roederer Estate Brut) and some sparkling cider that we could actually drink in honor of the potential of the future. And my mom made a really nice toast to me. It was just all good.

It was a very satisfying party, all around.