My brother has been encouraging me to be more active and less passive in my quest to find men to date. He met his current (and totally friggin' adorable) girlfriend in Berkeley at a cafe, after almost leaving and then deciding to go back and talk to her. That was several many months ago, and now they're living together. So his advice makes some sense. Not that I'm particularly needful of falling in love in the same way my brother did, but I'm open to it. :)

So last night I gave my phone number to a guy I met in the grocery store. Now it was New Leaf, the natural foods grocery store in Santa Cruz, not Safeway, so already there's some filtering out happening. Only people who are into things like organic food and homeopathic remedies and bulk carob bars go to New Leaf. (I actually decided I don't much like carob bars, but ssh, don't tell anyone.)

Anyway, I was feeling particularly unattractive because I hadn't showered that morning and I was wearing slightly ill-fitting clothes. It was an off day. It happens sometimes. I'm sure I was even a little bit stinky. :) And wouldn't you know it, New Leaf was all full of boys, cute and not so much. I guess all that unshowered stinkiness was full of pheremones or something, because I got several admiring glances. It was so strange! But then I started to feel a little better about myself, and my jacket was covering up my ill-fitting shirt, so maybe it wasn't so bad. I know my hair was miraculously cute despite the non-showering experience. Thank goodness for product!

So back to the phone number story. One of the admiring glances was from this awfully attractive young man. As he passed by me in the produce aisle, he gave me the nicest smile. And then when I ran into him again next to the cereal aisle, we exchanged smiles again, and I think I said one or two words. And then after that, I was really hoping to run into him again so I could say more than that, so I lingered long in the cheese aisle, and lo, he appeared! (I have to admit, I ended up going back to the cheese aisle even after I got my organic sharp cheddar and drifted around the store a little, because I was trying on purpose to run into him.) So then of course we ran into each other again (how did that happen, anyway?) and I asked him his name, and told him mine, and we had an extremely inane conversation about the store and it's various locations, and then he went off after telling me how nice it was to meet me, and it was just all awkward and silly and one of those moments where you want so much to say something, anything, but everything sounds weird. And then after the checkout line I said goodbye to him, and I went on my way... and I could hear my brother's voice in my head telling me to not just walk away. So when I got to the door, and saw New Leaf's suggestion box, I grabbed a piece of their pre-printed suggestion paper and made a suggestion to him that he call me sometime if he wanted to hang out or go get a cup of coffee or something. And on the lines for name and phone number, I put my name and phone number. It was totally dorky of me, I know, but what the hell. And then I went back, and told him, just as he was finishing checking out, that I never do this sort of thing, but if he felt like it, he should give me a call. And I handed him the paper. He grinned at me, said thanks, and I went off, blushing mightily, I'm sure. And completely filled with an endorphin/adrenaline rush that kept me buzzing for about forty-five minutes afterwards.

Of course, I called Mario almost immediately afterwards (first I tried to call Cynthia, because oh my god I had to tell somebody!) so that he could congratulate me on my bravery. He made an interesting point -- he said it didn't even matter if anything came of it or not, the important thing was that I had done it, I had put myself out there. And later I remembered that time once before, when I met the cute bluegrass boy and didn't get his name or anything. So this was a big step forward. I'm going to have to go back to my old habit of giving nicknames to the guys I know and have possible potential for dating. People who went to Bryn Mawr with me will remember Airplane Man, for example. Hah! Wow, that was a flashback. So we'll see if New Leaf Guy phones or not. If he doesn't, I think I'll survive. If he does, it might be fun.

You know, the only problem with trying to date in a college town when one is in one's thirties is that it's hard to tell how old people are sometimes. New Leaf Guy might have been my age, and he might have been in his mid-twenties. Sigh. Well, anyhow, speaking of surviving, it's time for me to go watch Survivor before it gets to be too late.

I love that show!