SYRACUSE POST-STANDARD, March 26, 1977

By Audrey (Kentuckypine)


YOU WOULDN'T THINK a teen-tiny word like "my"
could cause as much trouble as it does. Found in the
dictionary under the m's, "my" is said to mean: "belonging
to me." So much for the dictionary!

In the real world, especially the world of mothers, the
word is practically nonexistent, at least when it is
uttered by Ma. It's as if the word has been totally eliminated
from her vocabulary. Oh, she can say it all right,
but nobody hears it.
Like the other day when I calmly bellowed to the
beasties: "Okay, who's the beastie that's been messin'
around my desk?" In unison, they replied, "What
desk?"

Which, I suppose was a natural response going on the
assumption that the theory of a mother's "my" being
silent is accepted.
Either that, or the kids have the idea that when a
mother says "my," she doesn't really mean it or else
she doesn't know what she's talking about (which they
think is true all the time anyway).

DURING NEARLY 20 YEARS of beastie battling I
have discovered that "my" hair brush, panty hose,
shampoo, deodorant, pencils, pens, desk, bedroom, favorite
chair, chewing gum, telephone, and even kids,
are not really mine at all. The various items mentioned
above have a way of disappearing without a trace because
— as the monsters tell me: "How was I to know
it was yours, you never said It was!"

And as for kids being mine, well, perhaps on occasion
Like when they're in trouble. The dear ol' dad refers
to them as "your kids." But just let one of them do
something cute, or important, or even intelligent and all
of a sudden he/she becomes: "My kid."

WHEN THE GAS TANK on the car is empty, according
to the husband, it becomes "my" car. When it is
full, he says: "Whatta ya mean you're going to use 'my'
car?" His "my" you can hear a mile away, just like the
beasties! With them, it's "my" allowance, shoes, homework,
baseball mitt, game, doll — or whatever and the
"my" is usually accompanied by a "where is."

Maybe I'll just pack my bag, that I borrowed from
my mother, get in my car, that I also borrowed from
my mother, and take my vacation, and leave my "community
property" oriented family to clean my house.
Do you people hear me?