I'm writing to you from my computer. *MY* computer. On my desk. In my apartment. All paid for and everything.

There is only one word and one expletive that can explain how I feel about this.


Fuckin' sweet.


I turned eighteen some seven years ago, graduated high school soon after. Went to college (four years, plus a little extra to finish that one class) paid for by a combination of my mom, some grants and lots and lots of loans.

My senior year I mostly commuted to school in my dad's Pontiac Firebird, which I christened Deitrich (especially when Sharon (Jewish lesbian extraordinare) said she looked pretty butch). Looked really flashy, was actually kind of useless. HArd to haul anything in it and people in the back seat had to ride with their knees under their chins. But most importantly it was my dad's, and often enough I couldn't pay for the gas I had to put in it.

My parents never so completely lost their minds as to give me a credit card that they paid for. I knew plenty of classmates at 'SC whose parents did and boy did that end up being a bad idea. Instead, my parents promised to help me out if I really needed money. Of course, that's only if I *really* needed it. Gas on a weekday to get to LA? Absolutely. Gas on the weekend? Dream on.

So getting on my own two feet had always been an imperative since somewhere in college, and that had always involved getting my own living space, getting my own wheels (a must in LA) and getting my own Web hookup (a must in this new century/millenium/moment). I wish that was it, but of course I need various other sundries like food and clothes and gaming books, but I'm thinking big, and bottom line right now.

I consider myself fairly conservative when it comes to throwing my lot behind new technology and going out and getting new toys, not just because I can't afford it, but because I usually can't find a use for it. I have no desire for a television, but I learned in college that the true use for a computer is to get online. So that has always been a goal - to get constant access to the Net that I'm not borrowing/hijacking from someone else. My parents have never had and probably will never have cable television. Our first computer was archaic when my dad brought it home. I knew _nothing_ about computers but I knew that a good system didn't use the TV as the screen. But ours did. Dad absolutely refused to get a new computer until that one was completly, utterly and totally certifiably kaput. The one we had while I was in high school was fairly nice until my brothers discovered they could make more room for their games if they trashed files at random off the hardrive. After a couple of years only Solitaire would open, even Word went bye-bye. Then my oldest brother got his own computer and let the younger boys use it.

Then my dad got a new computer (after I had graduated from college) and forbade them from playing games on it. It was only for schoolwork or for his own projects.

When I was in junior high my mom got a Tandy laptop (this was the early nineties - a laptop then was as big as two of today's laptops and not even half as useful). When she finished with college I took it over and took it with me to USC. It was only for word processing (didn't even have a port for a modem). But that's all I needed, even if the formatting left a lot to be desired (that's ok, it was dot matirx - compatible and since that's the printer I had, with run tabs to get pulled along too!).

So I always wanted a "real" computer. Check.

My dad signed over Deitrich a year after I graduated from college, but it didn't even last a year after that. Fortunately, March of last year I was working full-time so I could convince my bank that I was worthy of a new car when Deitrich's transmission blew. Got the new car, an '87 Honda Accord, bad brakes and gas intake but reasonably good everything else. Haven't christened the car because I've been warned against it, but sometimes I address it as "sport."

So I got the wheels, though it'll be another two-ish years before they're totally paid off. Check.

For some reason apartments aren't easy to track down when you really, really want one. Especially in LA when you earn something that can't really be considered poverty-level, but isn't a heck of a lot better. But I still managed to find a place about a mile-ish from downtown and maybe 12 miles from where I work for only a quarter of what I make in a month. What a steal. Check.

Part of all of that has been becoming an adult and taking care of myself so I can continue to work toward my goals. And in that spirit I should probably head to bed.

Oh, yeah. Isobel. That's the computer. Hopefully in naming it (not sure that it's a she, but it doesn't really matter, I'm sure that Isobels can be its) I have not consigned it to some horrible fate like I've been told cars are. But you never know.

Isobel, meet the world. Always make sure the hand is clean before shaking it. World, meet Isobel. Isobel is nice and clean and will treat you good if you are nice to it.

--Isobel
--Bjork

In a forest pitch-dark
Glowed the tiniest spark
It burst into flame
Like me, like me

My name isobel
Married to myself
My love isobel
Living by herself

In a heart full of dust
Lives a creature called lust
It surprises and scares
Like me,like me

My name isobel
Married to myself
My love isobel
Living by herself

When she does it she means to
Moth delivers her message
Unexplained on your collar
Crawling in silence
A simple excuse
Nana na nana, nana na nana
Nana na nana, nana na nana

In a tower of steel
Nature forges a deal
To raise wonderful hell
Like me, like me

My name isobel
Married to myself
My love isobel
Living by herself

When she does it she means to
Moth delivers her message
Unexplained on your collar
Crawling in silence
A simple excuse
Nana na nana, nana na nana