Listening: 12 Tales
I'd rather be: meditating
Desiring: peace of mind

I've been quiet for a while and generally feeling down. Things don't interest me and I know where that's headed. I'm working on fixing it but in the meantime I'm sick of listening to my own whining.



The stuff I feel like writing and getting heard really seems unworthy of making other people listen to. I don't know if that makes any sense. But I can write about being sad until my fingers go numb when I get somewhere social I hate, *hate* to talk about it even if I'm totally secure with my company. I'd rather talk about other things that retread all the tired ground.

Bleh. But it's still stuck in my head and in my heart and just gah.... It's not like it's brand new, it's always been around somewhere in the background, occasionally nudged forward. Right now though it's just there like the dark spot of oblivion that settles before my eyes right before a migraine kicks up.


I want to be social to a certain extent but I want to control who I'm around. Not the easiest thing in the world but I've turned down laser tag tomorrow night because I don't know who all would be there. Instead I'll try to hit a wine tasting solo and then maybe color my hair (trying not to mess up the bathroom too bad).


but I really do like to talk to friends. I miss pretty much all you people....