I don't understand how some people get out of bed in the morning without causing themselves grievous bodily harm. Case in point - my encounter with a lady on the train this morning. What started as an innocent, rather nice compliment quickly spiraled down the slopes of brazen moronity.

When I got on the train this morning, there was an open seat next to a woman, which I promptly took. I don't like having to stand on the train first thing in the morning, especially since I'm barely awake at that point. As I sat down, the lady looks over to me, and this conversation occurs:

Woman: "That's a nice beard."

Me: "Why, thank you."

Woman: "Is it real?"

*blink*

No, lady, I normally go to work in disguise.

Now, I've gotten comments on the beard before (for those of you who don't know what I look like, it's a thin beard that extends down from my sideburns and along my jawline, until it meets up with my moustache and beard on my chin), and all humility aside, I like the way it looks. And if she had said something like "Nice eyes... are they contacts?" or "Is that your real hair color?" I would have understood better. But is my beard /real/?

Sheesh.