"Why indeed must "God" be a noun? Why not a verb - the most active and dynamic of all?" - Mary Daly

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Morning did not come welcomed. I woke up with a headache. It feels like a sinus headache. I mentioned to Michael yesterday that the last few times I had used my netti pot that my sinuses had been full and water was not coming out either nostril. His suggestion was to take an allergy pill. I did and that helped. I should probably take some now to see what results I achieve.

I know my neck and shoulder muscles are tight. Michael also says this is because of the time I am spending at the computer now that we are hooked up to the Internet. I do believe this but then I have been writing my morning pages most every morning. I would think I had gotten used to my physical position. Oh well, the aches and pains of an old woman.

Since I had the headache and Bailey was not going to let me sleep any longer, I got up at 7:30 a.m. and went for a 30-minute walk. This is one of my goals with the pysch doctor that I would attempt to get physical exercise back into my daily routine.

My other goal was to write morning pages daily; so far so good on the morning pages. I tend to do the morning pages on my lap top since it is easier than writing in my hard cover journal. The other funny thing I find is that I write stuff here that I would not think of writing in my paper diary. I wonder why this is.

The sun has come out. The hummingbirds are talking to one another and buzzing around the back patio. I have yet to see any blue jays. I did put out breadcrumbs this morning. I also took the golden-colored seed sprig and rubbed it across my palms to loosen the seeds onto the patio. Since I have had the sprig, I have not seen any birds use it. Maybe with the loose seed, the small birds will come to eat. Next month I am going to get the feed sock for small birds. This was suggested by my guy at the hardware store. I have seen some yellow-breasted birds and one that is black on the top and a lovely shade of soft grey-brown on the under side of the bird. I would like these two to come back and maybe some others. What I really need to get is a bird book of California for our area and learn what these birds are that I am seeing.

I checked my miniature rose plant this morning to see if it needed water. It does not. Some of the leaves are falling off easily. This worries me. However, I set it outside on the side of the step to get some sunshine as it comes around. I hope the sun will give it some good energy. I would really like to keep this one alive. I have to keep my record good for this growing season. Dead plants: 0; live plants: 17 – this includes my houseplants, the tomato plants, and potted and garden plants. I feel pretty good about this since in the past, I seemed to only kill plants.

I was reading an article on the Internet yesterday about smoothies to improve skin, indigestion and a number of other things. One of the recipes called for dandelion greens. Oh be still my beating heart. About 10 years ago I was growing dandelions. My neighbors did not like me much but I did grab the puff balls of seeds before the wind got them. I was making a fusion of apple cider vinegar with dandelion greens. The apple cider vinegar would leech out the iron in the greens. I would use this fusion as part of my salad dressing. Plus, I love honey and vinegar with hot water.

Another article, I read on the Internet was about aspartame. I had not thought a lot about it but I had heard bad things about aspartame. I had used it in my hot tea and I drank Diet Coke. Well, this article says the aspartame can be detrimental to ones' health as in diabetes (I have just been diagnosed with Type 2) and depression (I have suffered from this for years). Now I do not drink tea every day nor do I drink a soda a day. With the way our finances are these days, I would purchase two one-liter bottles and they would last me for a week. The rest of the time I would be drinking water or tomatoes juice. I just love virgin Bloody Marys. Since reading this article I have gone back to using locally produced honey. I know honey has more calories from my Weight Watcher days but I would rather have the honey than the side affects from the aspartame.

Today is Sunday. I had been going to church fairly regularly earlier in the year. Since the cost of gasoline has gotten to $4.07 a gallon. I have stopped going because my home church is about 12 miles from our home one way. There is a church in the town I live in but I am not ready to make a change. I guess I would rather commune with the Goddess from my own home or while I am walking. I know through Zen Buddhism, that walking meditation is very good for you. Although, I need to be careful of the traffic; people around here do not always pay attention to stop signs or for that matter, signal lights.

On today's walk, I was hailed by the local crazy lady. I had my ear buttons in while listening to the radio, so I waved to her and kept walking. Even in our little berg, we have our homeless people to contend with. Most of them keep to themselves except for this one lady. One day, she came in our complex and knocked on our neighbor’s door and was ranting about someone being missing and other things. Michael poked his head out the door and she said a few words to him. Mind you she is yelling and waving her arms about. Michael called and spoke to a sheriff. The sheriff's department is aware of her but until she does something illegal they cannot do much.

So, where is "God" or the Higher Power in all this? With the way our economy is going, what is the Great Spirit's plan for us? For two years Michael and I were homeless. Staying with family and friends, until finally we had to go to a homeless shelter. Granted, it was an adventure. We did meet some very good people whom we consider as friends. It is especially sad when you see families with children. They live out of their car, the shelter and the day center. What kind of life is this for anyone? Are you listening up that Goddess? I do not understand why Michael and I had to lose everything, go through our experience in Colorado and then end up in a shelter in California.

I do know that we had been grateful before these adventures began but we are doubly grateful now. Thank heavens Goddess put the case manager who worked well with us and helped us get to the place we are in now. The shelter was there when we needed a roof, a meal, a place to clean up, and a bed to sleep in. Michael and I are grateful for all the food banks we go to. I do not know what we would do about eating if it were not for the food banks.

I also wonder what "God's" great plan is where it comes to our political environment. I am so thoroughly disgusted with our elected officials. They are not listening to us. They are not hurting, about to lose their homes, medical benefits or have to go to food banks. I wrote to the editor of a weekly magazine in August that I thought all of our elected officials should take a pay cut. For those who have side incomes, to forgo their salary altogether. How much more money would that put into the coffers of the government. Of course, I am sure they would find a way to overspend that as well.

All I know is that Michael and I live in paradise. We love our little fur child even though he wants us to get up earlier than we want to so he can be fed. How can you be mad at that little being who purrs so quietly in your ear? Who bumps your nose or chin to get your attention? That is unconditional love. He is always glad when we come home from our errands. Plus, he is so cute when he is sleeping in my lap or his snuggled up against Michael on the futon.

We have good neighbors. Who watch out for one another? My one neighbor gifts me plants and extra pots for planting in, refurbished a birdbath for me to have in my yard. We share our wealth in canned goods and other extras from the food bank. We keep watch for those who live by themselves. Checking in when we have not seen them in a day or two with a phone call or go to visit.

I live in the town which was my first choice to live. I am within walking distance to the library, the post office, the pet store, the hardware store, the bakery, a used book store, and the grocery store where I get my prescriptions. Life does not get any better than this. I love being able to have my windows and sliders open all day. Gotta love that fresh air; though, I do not care much for the dust but it is a small price to pay.

For these things I do give blessings to the Goddess for all She has granted me. I am worthy of her love and good tidings.

Okay, enough of the god stuff this morning. I do not mean to put what I believe out there on you. I do not mind that you believe differently than I do. I support your right to believe the in the tradition that you follow.

Oh, now I hear sirens. This is not a good sign. I say prayers that all is well and no one is hurt.

Funny how in the middle of writing I can find other things to do.

Such as, Michael got up and I suggested we go use the Starbuck's gift cards I won at the raffle on Friday night. When I first looked in the envelope, I thought it was one $15 gift card but no, there were two $15 gift cards. Score! Michael went and got presentable to be out in public and we hopped into the trust little truck that could and drove up there. Michael had a regular coffee and I had a caffe mocha. Ooooh, that was good. We attempted to stay there to enjoy our coffees but the word was out that we were there and the place filled up and became crowded and noisy. We decided to come home to enjoy our coffees and watch the real estate commercials for houses for sale along the Central Coast of California. When we tuned in they were showing houses in Goleta, Santa Barbara, Carpentera, Summerland, and Santa Ynez. Prices were anywhere from $800,000 to $6,000,000. Shoot, nothing we can afford but the houses and property were nice to look at. I will keep my little spot of heaven for the time being.

After this, I went in and cleaned up. You know the daily stuff of brushing teeth and hair, washing the face and moisturizing, and the war paint for the day. I do not apply make up every day but I do try because it is a form of self care. I have collected so many different colors of eye shadow and lipsticks; it is a shame not to use them. Besides, I feel good about doing it and Michael likes it which is all the more important.

Then I decided to do my part for the upcoming Community Watch meeting. I went around to our neighbors in the complex and notified those who were home of the date, time, and place. After the removal of the druggies across the way from us, we want to be prepared for the new tenants when they come and let them know we are not going to tolerate people who do drugs or people who are selling drugs. Before the other apartment was cleaned up, the foot traffic was non-stop 24-7. The good news is that we even have residents who live in the area outside of our complex who want to participate with us. I feel this is good and good community relations.

Okay, I feel I have gone on long enough here. It is time to go do something else like read my book and get it done. I’m less than 100 pages out; I should be able to finish it today.

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Currently Reading: "Blood Promise: A Vampire Academy novel" - Richelle Mead