I already took a sleeping pill and just popped in to say how buoyed up I've felt reading the comments and feeling the love! Many thanks dear ones, much needed. I have managed to almost let go of the SC episode, I think. Hardly any shouting at her in my head today.

But It's been a bit hectic. Art group then drove up here to YD's (don't ask) and on we'll go to visit ED tomorrow together.

I feel as if it's all going OK until the spectre of Christmas raises its ugly head and the very thought of being jolly shows me how close to despair it all is. But then again, this is always how I feel the day before visiting ED. There was a great article (can't remember the code to link, soz, but it's here http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/nov/28/caring-mother-alzheimers-love-self-obsessed )

which talks about the reality being less bad than the imagined - oh i can not find my words now, all gone into the sleepy pills, night night, back soon, love and hugs xxxxxxxx