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Well, lordy lordy, here I sit in my very own conservatory (doncha know?), at my very own pc, installed and up and running and almost normal.

Since I was last here I have:

1. Had a proper screaming fit at the doctor's when they tested the 24hr blood pressure monitor, and it gripped my arm so tight. So embarrassing, but hey ho, there we go, this is who I am now, for the moment. Not having my BP investigated further at this point. Physical health v mental. Can't be any more anxious, cannot bear it. GP says it's not dangerously high but to have another go within a year or two. Fair enough.

2. Had to comfort my daughter who is seriously frightened for her future with the new govt and broke down for hours and hours on Friday morning. I have nothing to say that can be said in a few words. We HAVE to stay optimistic though, because if the worst does happen it'll be bad enough when it does, without having spoiled this last bit with fretting. Get out there and fight or get on with what you have now as best you can.

3. Spent a brilliant afternoon in real life with two friends who started off as blog-mates, Stepfie and timstough, majorly good and overwhelming but I think I carried it off OK. Stepfie is the most amazing singer, in fact one of the most all-round talented people I know and Tim is pretty cool too, does a good line in presents for the older stoner. Love xxx

4. Fell over in the dark when I got home from Stepfie's, all full of sleeping pills and pipe, banged my head HARD on the door frame which turns out to be metal, and cut a deep gash in my forehead, which we decided the next day I should have had stitched, but A&E on a Saturday night can go fuck itself, been there done that, rather have a scar. We went and got some of those strips of stuff that YD stuck it back together with, but over the course of the day it swelled up around them and it was pretty sunny so I'm going to have a nice multi-coloured frame for the scar. I've been a bit manic since, not able to stop, but I have sat on my arse for the last decade so a couple of days rushing about won't kill me.

5. Been the person who shat last in the toilet before it was so blocked it overflowed and leaked through into the kitchen below, the freshly white painted kitchen, which was a blow, but being the person whose shit is all over the bathroom ain't great either.

6. Done fucking masses of making this a home but I'll write about that tomorrow, with pics.

Today I am grateful for: YD and her husband who have worked their arses off helping us get this place straight enough to relax in, which it nearly is; Bobcat for chilling out and shutting the fuck up at last; feeling OK living here, despite being scared beforehand; a garden; a warm bath

Laters xxx

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