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Yikes. One of my pals posted a thing on facebook which tells you how many hours you were using it in the last year. Way too many. 1663. Which is 69 days or over two fucking months. It's just there on my phone, and when the bad thoughts come along (which, clearly, they do a lot), it's a quick distraction, always in my pocket. But it's no way to live. So I googled 'how to stop checking facebook all the time' and was relieved that so many results came up - not just me then, but a 'thing'. I'm trying the logging out method, to stop it being quite so easy and automatic - they recommend deleting the app as well, but I did that ages ago as I couldn't work out how to stop it pinging with each notification. The idea is that it makes you stop and think whether you really want to spend your time doing it and as it's quite a faff, the answer is more likely to be no. And I'll try and always have my kindle about my person - no harm ever came from reading - well, it probably did, but it won't to me. Sigh.

This is my pal Jan's video of the song she wrote to get her out of a ten album (or some such number) recording contract that wasn't letting her do her thing musically. It worked and she's continued to make beautiful music. The animation is by a friend of hers - together they're gloriously mental

Apart from that today I've:

1. Had acupuncture
2. Been round my sis's, hung out with the babies and the little dogs and collected her old desk and a birdfeeder, both still in the car, I realise. The desk is a bit crap, but considerably less so than my current one which I picked up off the street.
3. Been beset by double-glazing tedium. The windows here are all fucked - when all the bedroom ones are shut the curtains still billow in the south-westerlies, but you can't get a quote without the bullshit and they're all so fucking plausible.
4. Taught my pal M how to do papier mache. She's making a bowl and I'm making a translucent tea light holder out of tissue paper. Peaceful.
5. Kept my gob shut quite a bit, on the old principle that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything, which I don't always adhere to, but I chose to on several occasions today.

I am grateful for: not sweating the small stuff - Bloke manages to be irritated as fuck about things in this house that I hadn't noticed and don't care about now he's pointed them out - badly done this and that, ach, it's a house, a cheap house, whose last occupant was skinter than skint, it is what it is (see 5 above); acupuncture; the babies - well, little girls they are now, but still sweetie-pies; my new book 'Lila' by Marilynne Robinson (I think), full of sorrow so far, just what I need; friend D coming round tomorrow morning for real life hugs which we both could do with

Sweet dreams xxx

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