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Yay! We made it - got all the benefit claim forms completed and handed in. Job done. And, when it came to the bit where we had to fill in details of YD and H's incomings and outgoings, I spotted that they're not getting anything for GS, because they hadn't realised they were entitled to anything. But they are, a no-quibble definite amount - of course they are, they're a family of three now, and with that they will be able to cover the rent. This may not be very clear and to be honest I don't really want it to be as it's their stuff not mine, but it's all I've done this week. I've been too scared to even contemplate the consequences of them having to move, whilst saying the Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha mantra (the one asking nicely for removing obstacles from one's path) again and again, with full gratitude for the obstacles removed already. It's like a huge knot of nastiness that's been pulling at me from inside my chest has suddenly dissolved and now I can breathe freely and sit up straight again.

At art group this morning I copied a photo of a Gaudi building, presumably in Barcelona, though I forgot to look at what or where it is. I also forgot my fine black pen, so it's unfinished as there's more twiddly bits to do with that, and some shading. I'm a bit scared of making it worse by adding more paint, but you have to just go for it on these occasions, n'est-ce pas?

Today I am grateful for: Son on his way here on the train, picking me up some rizlas en route; spending time with H today and him chatting about his next planned art project; panna cotta for pud; feeling tentatively optimistic about at least some aspects of the future - I'm channelling YD, H and GS, living in their flat, surrounded by trees and wildlife, settled in, YD getting her etsy shit back up, making a living, H introducing this staid seaside resort to the delights of contemporary conceptual art, GS making friends at school, enjoying his studies enough, all of us visiting ED, all good enough after all this shit; bedtime

laters, sweet peas xxx

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