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I cannot begin to tell you how gratefgul I am for
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I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am for the comments and notes left after my last entry. I have just survived the worst few days of my entire life, which I can't be too explicit about as it's not my story, but there was a suicide attempt, a serious one that was only averted by accident and we are all broken, shattered, without words. I want to handcuff this person to me, to be sure they are safe. Now I am home, about to sleep in my own bed again, I can hardly bear not to text every ten minutes to ask if they are OK. They aren't OK. Nothing's OK.

And I knew. All through yoga on Thursday, it was all I could think about, but I told myself to calm down, stop being melodramatic, enough with the out of control emotions, the anxiety, ach. Man.

But the universe was on our side. We've been given another chance to try and persuade our darling that things will improve, that the pain will pass, there will be joy again. Will there?

You've been great, my friends. I've come back and read your comments again and again, though I've been too overwhelmed to reply just yet. I am strong (am I?), I am loved (really?), this will pass. It will, it fucking will.

I am grateful for: the crisis team, superb, fucking awesome, making the difference; the NHS; you guys; family; a second chance.


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