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She's been moved out of the 'Enhanced Surgical Care Unit' onto an ordinary womens' surgical ward. I should start to trust, to believe, but I can't, not yet. On Saturday and most of Sunday we really thought she was dying and she was in so much pain with so little hope that I had come to a place of acceptance or something like it. I couldn't want her to carry on like that and I didn't. She'd retreated inside herself and was gone, it seemed. And now she's flickering into life again, making more sustained and purposeful eye contact, smiling when she knew it was me come to visit. I'm going to write this down but please, I beg you, don't leave congratulatory comments because it's too raw, too uncertain. She was ill with these kidney stones for ages, weeks and weeks. They are not a stage of her MS, although they have resulted from bladder issues arising from the MS. When they are fully treated she may be much more alert, communicative and cogent than she has been for a long time. I have zero capacity to hope for this, believe in it or think about it. I am stuck on one day at a time. Tomorrow will reveal itself.

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