CaySwann
A "G-Rated Journal" That Even My Mother Can Read (because she does!)

Effervescence is a state of mind. It's about choosing to bring sunshine to the day.
Every person I meet matters.

If it's written down, I know it (If it's not written down, I don't know it)
If it's color-coded, I understand it (If it's not color-coded, I don't understand it)


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Daddy-do and me, 2010


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My Birthday, My Pelican'ing, and WWID?

My Birthday (Yesterday) - So I bet you're all beginning to wonder about me (again) ... seriously, I wish I could figure out a way to carve out time to update more frequently! But every day is new. We'll see what I can do with this idea / wish / thought / plan.

Okay, so my Birthday stories first. I spent the day before my birthday thinking about my 20s and thinking about my 30s, and comparing the two. I've often seen parts of my life in 7-year cycles -- 7 calendar years to get my "4-year" degree in college; 7 years dating, engaged, married, and then divorced; and it's been 8 years since the divorce, so I'm not sure if I just finished a complete set of 7 and started something new or not. But thinking about it in decades, the examination was different entirely. My 20s included half of college, my tour singing for 3 months, post college and some start-up years returning to the SCA, besides the change from single to married. My 30s included the falling apart of my marriage, the recovery of my self, and a wide variety of job changes and living changes.

In my 30s, first I lived in a house with 7 people, then rented a room in a house with a married couple and twin 4-yr-olds for 11 months. A year living alone where I loved being in my apartment, hated the drive to the neighborhood, and hated the landlord. And I endured the shock of 9-11 alone, with no roomies. On to living with a married couple and 3 cats, and then a huge move to renting a fold-out couch in the library of the house of some other married firends, and commuting 72-miles one way. Next, an apt across the freeway with 2 gals, then an extra guy and some extra stuff, until 1 of the gals and I moved out on our own. Now I've been roomies with her for 3+ years, and couldn't be happier in our apt.

For jobs in my 30s, I finished up the 2nd half of my 4+ years creating training materials at a large software company, and faced my 2nd layoff. Switch gears to delivering training for the Navy, doing data for the Marine Corps, a stint doing training materials for another software company, back to data for the Navy (and a wonderful 11 months working from home). Switch to another layoff, and a tech writer job for a television software company, where that contract ran out and I got noticed by the recruiters as a "tech writer" and recruited to work at my current job. Now I'm expanding my tech writing from just documentation to helping pioneer some training materials, and I'm back into the business of a hefty daily commute. And although riding the train looked promising at first, now I'm a little less motivated after train accident after train accident. Sure, there are more car accidents, but I can't help be feel safer in my own car (and have more mobility).

At the end of my ponderings, I concluded my 30s were better than my 20s -- not based on the housing or the career patterns, but based on the people in my life and the pleasure I've found in the people in my life. I'm definitely healthier, people-wise, now than in either previous decade.

The Party - So I held my birthday party on Sunday, at the Dudley house (which is to say Saul/Raphael's parents' home in LA), and invited people from widely varying walks of my life. At the last minute some people couldn't show up after all, and a few extras were around and invited to join us. We counted at least 21 or more folks who were able to drop in, maybe more. My sister was able to finally meet tons of my SCA friends, some of my baronial friends met my shire friends, and everyone got to meet the Dudley's. *grin*

My birthday idea was that I was turning "FOUR...ty!" and so I wanted fingerpaints and a wading pool and cup-ee-cakes, and other silly 4-yr-old themed things. I bought all kinds of things at the local Party City discount store, yellow balloons, yellow plates, yellow plastic ware, grab-bags so my guests could take home party prizes, confetti poppers, little plastic slinkies, those games where you tilt the board so the ball will go through the maze or drop into the holes, curvy drinking straws, and mardi-gras bead necklaces to wear. The Dudley's were kind enough to let me drop by late Saturday evening to decorate early, and then Sunday morning I picked up food and drinks and ice, baked cupcakes and cakes (when I ran out of time and cupcake papers), and hurried up to be there before noon.

We ate snacks and made sandwiches. We went into the backyard and did fingerpainting. We frosted cake slices and cupcakes and opened presents. We went out to the wading pool, where the simple tiny little water gun fight turned into a full-fledged water fight that soaked 5 of us completely, when we got into big water guns, and used drink cups and a bucket for throwing water on each other. Then, while we all our clothes were in the dryer, we sat around the living room playing silly word games (a new one taught to us by Aaron, which might be called "Contact" but we also call it "Siege" now, too). Finally, it was time for hugs and people drifting back home, since it was Sunday night and work in the morning for most of us. Everyone pitched in to help clean up the Dudley house, and then Erika was hungry, so Ben and Erika and I went to Cantor's Deli (which was my first time to this iconic restaurant) and we finished up with a meal and some more chatting and laughing together. A wonderfully successful Sunday.

The Day Itself - For my actual birthday, I bought myself flowers for work -- a nice basket with carnations and daisies and a cute butterfly, making this the 2nd year in a row I had a basket of flowers with a butterfly. I took myself to sushi for lunch and lingering over my newest Spin-Off magazine (spinning fiber into yarn). Then I hurried off to my sword-fighting class, my 2nd week ever in this class, where just over 2 dozen of us are learning to work with these wooden swords called "dussacks" in an historical German style. I'm finding the exercise makes me sweat, stretches my muscles and joints, and makes my brain hurt, but in a good way. And I got my first ever "stained my skin from sweating in leather gloves" last night: A fine omen for the start of my 40s, I think! Then three of my closest guy friends and I ended up at Starbucks over caffeine and sugar and talks of battles and swords and technique. Throughout the day I was bombarded with text messages and emails and postings on my Myspace and Facebook, as well as visits to my office and the occasional phone call. A wonderful birthday.

And now, a story that I've been delayed a month in the telling:

My Surprise Pelican'ing - I'd started out the morning just preparing for Crown Tourney. My household had decided to do a "Peers' Tea" where we were going to entertain Peers at the White Star, serve tea and cupcakes and sandwiches. Every non-peer in the house invited their Peer such as Knight/Squire, Laurel/Apprentice, or Pelican/Protege (the three Peer-to-Student relationships), or if someone didn't have a formal Peerage relationship, just invite a Peer with whom they had a good friendship and/or a great deal of respect. Raz set up the White Star sunshade (or the "Poop Deck" as modeled after the shade on the Santa Maria). Mina made several dozen cupcakes, and brought every tea set from our house. People brought a stove, kettle, water, and several flavors of tea leaves; table cloths, extra chairs, flowers for decoration: We'd gone all out for our Peers' Tea. And we'd gotten a spot along the eric (the roped off area for fighting), so I had visions of sitting along side the field, sipping tea, eating snacks, conversing for hours with our Peers, and watching Fall Crown Tourney. [I'd even had a moment at home, agonizing over getting just the perfect veil folds to make my outfit especially cute for the Tea.]

On site, I helped get things set up. White Star was next to the Crimson Spade, where we were planning to help them staff the field they were sponsoring, by providing shade and drinks for the fighters, heralds (announcements) and marshals (safety in our sword-fighting form) for the field. After setup, I hung out near the Royal encampment, braiding hair, and singing Pennsic songs for anyone who'd listen (or join in). At court, I sat up front, taking pictures of the event.

And then His Majesty called me up in court. I was a little confused and a tiny bit worried: What on earth could They want from me now? But His Majesty started telling stories to those assembled, all about our time at Pennsic. And I just laughed and smiled, because, well, Pennsic really rocked. I got to do all the things I'd dreamed of and more: Leading them on to the field in song, 6 days in a row; writing a new March for the Queen; telling stories in camp; helping with Scribal and Heraldry work; and even just keeping Their Majesties company, half-way around the country.

And then They sprung it on me. The Pelicans (the peerage order for Service) had been sneaking up the central aisle, as the King had been stalling for time with Pennsic stories. I remember gasping so much when They announced that They would like to elevate me to the Order of the Pelican, that the King had to order me to breathe. I remember clinging to Her Majesty's hands, shaking and crying and laughing all at the same time. I remember Jamal (or Gulliver?) clearing his throat with a loud "Ah-hem!" so that I would turn around and see the "flock of pelicans" filling the aisle behind me.

And then Tonwen, my Laurel, came forward. And I really started to sob, because I knew that in accepting peerage and becoming a Pelican, that Tonwen and I would be equally both peers, and no longer Peer-to-Apprentice in relationship. I stood to face her, to be released from my oath of fealty to her, and then return to kneeling before Their Majesties. And then, honor of honors, they placed the Kingdom Herald's Tabard on Tonwen, handed her the book, and she conducted my Peerage Ceremony, right there on the spot.

Speaking for the Peerages - When I'd gone to Northshield for Warlords and Warriors in July 2006, I was fortunate enough to witness the Laurel ceremony for my dear friend Eithni. And this was the first time I'd seen people "Speak For" the candidate, and give witness why they should be elevated. And whomever put together the surprise for me, knew me well enough to include this element in my ceremony, and I was honored beyond belief.

First, Kolfinna spoke on behalf of the Royal Peers (she's also a Knight), and described how we met in her youth, before she was even old enough to fight in heavy weapons in the SCA. Next, her Consort Sven spoke on behalf of the Chivralry (he's also a Royal Peer). Flavia spoke on behalf of the Laurels (she's also a Pelican), followed by Leonora speaking on behalf of the Pelicans (she's also a Royal Peer), finishing with Albra speaking additionally as a Laurel (she's also a Royal Peer). I was floored by their words. Of course, don't ask me to quote what they said (I have vague, fuzzy memories, and I remember crying a lot), but I remember it being really touching and fantastic.

Eowyn (both a Pelican, a Laurel, and a Baroness) wrapped me in her peerage cloak for the ceremony (a loaner, not to keep), and then Gareth (Caid's own Triple Peer: Knight, Laurel, and Pelican) passed down to me his Pelican medallion, which was originally stitched (needlepoint?) for him 18 years ago by Angelina (my current Baroness and a Laurel). This really meant tons to me, since Gareth is one of the main reasons I'm in the SCA, from the friendship we've had since college when I met him 22 years ago.

Lantern's Keep (the household that includes my Laurel) and a bunch of friends had put together a reception of food and drink for me, so a bunch of us went there to hang out after court. And then my household threw together a Vigil for me (I know, odd to hold the Vigil after the Ceremony), while they continued hosting the Peer's Tea. A bunch of folks wrote notes to me in my Vigil book, came in to impart words of wisdom and/or congratulations, and filled my day with joy.

Some people were a little concerned about surprising me, versus inviting me to the peerage and giving me the opportunity to plan the ceremony, vigil, etc. But looking back, it was the perfect ceremony with details and nice touches that were beyond my wildest dreams, and better than anything I could have ever planned. It was amazing, wonderful, and worth every surprised and shocked tear.

At the end of day, having been a little bit overwhelmed by the whole experience, I just wanted to do "something small" so Lot put together a small group of 9 people for sushi near my house, and we quietly finished the day over food and drink and silliness. I even asked the waitress to have the sushi chef "surprise me" with something yummy, so she ordered her favorite dish and brought that to me -- it was AMAZINGLY yummy, and the perfect end to my day.

It took me easily a week to wrap my brain around everything that happened at my Pelican'ing, and not a few emails to some trusted friends (who happen to be peers) and a night of chatting with Jeff and Adrienne, to really get my feet under me. But now I feel like myself again, just with some new adventures ahead of me now. And now rather than "Apprentice Night" at my Laurel's house, I visit her for "Pentathlon Night" as we continue to enjoy inspiring each other to better and better artistic achievements.

(Oh! And congrats to Sven and Kolfinna, our next King and Queen, the Crowned Prince and Princess from the tournament. Doubly-exciting that I like them, they're going to rule our kingdom again, and they both just spoke for me in the morning at my Pelican ceremony. Pretty cool. There's pictures of them in the album below.)

Today's Photo Portion - These are some photos taken at Fall Crown and my surprise Pelican'ing.

My Pelican Ceremony


A New Hero - Finally, I'll share another story that I'd been drafting this week. Every now and then, I meet someone or get to know someone better who is a definite inspiration or motivation for me. Just recently, I realized I had another new hero. Last summer, I met Ianuk and 2 of her closest friends (all from Atenveldt, I think) at the Known Worlde Heraldic and Scribal Symposium. I was just doing Coffee Bar for the Hospitality Suite, and not really that invested in the weekend's activities. I would have *loved* to attend the scribal track, but it just wasn't in my schedule that year. Then in June this year, I was helping at the Dyestuffs / Fiber Retreat again, doing Coffee Bar plus just enjoying the weekend, learning and teaching and taking zillions of photos. It took Ianuk and I a while to figure out where we recognized each other from, but that weekend I knew I really liked both her and her husband, Ivan. Then I started following her journal online, saw her in passing at Pennsic.

I have to say, her journal has *absolutely* inspired me and made me want to be a better person -- and maybe be more like her?! *grin* I impressed by her dedication to exercise and bicycling (just like I'm always impressed with Bob's running, and his journal about the experience). She works hard in her office. She seems to have a lovely marriage (to a pretty incredible guy), in which she puts in effort and keeps up the relationship. She cooks, she picks up, she organizes. Oh, did I mention they are the Baron and Baroness? She does calligraphy, painting, projects, sewing, fighting, armor -- I'm just so impressed. And she updates her journal more frequently that I do. *sending love!*

Fitting into My Motivations - So recently I was thinking about Ianuk, her journal, and her activities as I was looking around my apartment and contemplating the clutter and projects I needed to work on, prioritize, and finish. There were a few moments of giggling as I'd ponder the phrase "What would Ianuk do?" (WWID) and then I'd get back to deciding "What would Eilidh / Cat do?" instead. It's nice to have heroes, to have laughter, and to have perspective. It keeps me from being all that panicky about being behind, and just remembering to "eat the elephant one bite at a time" or to "climb Mt. Everest one step at a time."

So what did I get done? Well, I went over to Arts and Sciences in the evening Monday night, where Pierre, Aliskye, Meala, and I made beeswax notions on ribbon, to use for waxing thread for hand-sewing. I took a few photos, told some Pennsic stories, and genuinely enjoyed the company. I hadn't seen Aliskye since I'd been to Pennsic, and she'd sent me on a mission to bring home some scribal supplies for her. So there were specific scribal-shopping stories that I'd been saving up just for her, and it was much fun.

At home afterwards, I continued my attack on the living room and kitchen, and finally got the last of Coffee Bar washed, unpacked, repacked, restocked, and put away. I'd recently bought more cooking ingredients for my roomie's ongoing Vegan Cupcakes That Take Over the World projects, and so I rearranged some of the cupboards to collate all the supplies in one place. We have a wonderfully large kitchen, and a plethora of cupboards, but some of them are radically different in size from one another. Trying to divide the cupboards evenly between both roomies is difficult, so I gave up some of "my shelf spade" to the whole house cooking ingredients, and I'm happy with the change.

With two more boxes unpacked, washed, and put away, all the dishes done, all the counters cleaned, taking out all the trash and recycling, I can honestly say the kitchen is finally done again. I also put away all the birthday party detritus, and finally hung up the last of the clean laundry. So my bedroom finally has a clean floor again, and I'm back to just putting away things from tables and desktops, and finishing the last of the living room. My goal is to have the house "Clean enough to throw a party" as a way of daily living. Not a bad goal!

* * * * *
Finished Objects: Boxes put away from living room, kitchen clean, laundry picked up, and additional laundry washed. Oh! And my Pelican photo album and this journal entry update (giggle)

Today's Blessing That I'm Thankful For: Noah and Karen, for making me feeling like family


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