Late last night, as I collected, sorted, and filed my thoughts of the last week or so, and even of the last year plus...it made me sad to realize where life has taken me at this point....and even more so, where it has taken my beloved....
In less than 2 years, we lost our pontoon boat, my motorcycle, our business we had sunk everything in to, and were forced to sell our wonderful home we had....all because an 81 yr. old lady with basically NO insurance, changed lanes improperly to do an illegal U Turn...and ran over me and my motorcycle, and drove away, trying to hide......she was charged with only a "Failure to Yield Right of Way' and fined $237.60....now I ask you, wherein is the justice in this? She continued to make her illegal U turn crossing 4 lanes of traffic with a flat left front tire, and drove a quarter of a mile away, and tried to hide in a parking lot...so, let's see here...she changed lanes illegally, caused an accident, made an illegal U Turn, left the scene of an accident, and caused great bodily harm and personal property damage. And she only paid a $200 fine? That is just ludicrous....I was obeying the speed limit, was properly dressed AND wearing a helmet with a face shield, and I suffered 7 fractures to my right leg...ankle (2) and foot (5).....YET I am the one to lose my home, business, bike, and am now disabled with the right leg and foot, back problems, and some other personal repercussions from this accident....yet she still has HER home, drives, I am sure, AND has suffered nothing...yet SHE caused all this....and they say we have a just and fair legal system....I dare think NOT!!!
But, even from that, I have moved on...because what Cat faces is a much worse dilemma than this...still it saddens me to know what has happened, all because someone didn't follow the Rules of the Road...and now here I am...still affected by the fallout from this accident...
We live in a rental house with less than efficient/sufficient landlords! Garage door fell in last April (2007), he came in AUGUST to fix it, put the new one up, and tied it to the rafters with ski rope...and said he'd be back in 2 weeks....and it STILL isn't fixed. He gets his rent right on time, every month. Had the nerve to charge us an extra $100 a month EXTRA as "dog deposit"...the carpet and linoleum was less than desirable at move in time, so saved them extra expense to just "leave it as is" and not charge me for anything that may happen to it while we live here. So we have over $2k in deposits....and I sure hope we get that all back....
My dad died February 2007....my only living relative of my immediate family, a brother, has not spoken to me since then....I asked for what I feel is only right as my share of the inheritance from my PARENTS' estate, to be told....well, after all, how do YOU figure you are entitled to anything"? Yes, I have said some ugly names regarding my dad, who hasn't at one time or another....and I have certainly heard my remaining brother say some of those same things...yet he feels I am entitled to NADA. He has 4 kids, 2 of whom are reaping the benefits of my folks things....my reasoning is this: we were 2 kids left of this IMMEDIATE family....whatever his kids got should rightfully come from his share of the estate...we disagree on this...we have only "spoken" via emails...
At any rate, dad left 2 vehicles, which my brother got, and he already had 4 of his own...so how can 2 adults (he and his wife) drive 6 vehicles. We desperately need a decent truck.....and he has TWO!!!! I had only wanted to have the china cabinet and china, a vehicle, dining room suit, big screen TV, and the golf cart I helped pay for for mom when she had her stroke, so she could drive it to mailbox and on the property to get around.....my brother already had 2 sets of china, a big screen TV, 4 vehicles, and had 2 previous golf carts of his own...he has the house, and will get a nice chunk of change when (and if) he decides to sell it...and all else....so why is this not a fair share for me...my mother said over and over...to treat all THREE of her kids fairly when dad died....my middle brother died in 2000....if he had been alive, this whole estate would have been done a whole lot differently....am I upset over this? Hell yes, I wanted my mom's Eastern Star stuff (ring, gavel, etc) my brother sure as heck won't ever be able to wear it...mom would want me to have those things as well as her Eastern Star scrapbook. I wanted her cookbooks....no one seems to know whom has them...but I know who does...along with much more of her things.....I try to "forget" this crap, and focus on my terminally ill partner, BUT I am just sick to death of being pushed out of this family!!!! I can talk about this here, fairly easily, because its just a blog...but that hurt never goes away...people say things like "forget and move on" and that is easy to say.....unless you have been there, done that!!!! This bothers me a lot, esp. late at night...when I awake, and get to thinking on it...then I am able to go long periods and not think about it....he has to answer for his actions one day....one thing I can say is, I stood by, first my grandmother, caring for her 24/7 the last two years of her life, then mom her last 3 months of her life, 24/7 BY MYSELF. I did everything for her, including getting her bathed, dressed, fed, and up every am, and back down at night. I used a Hoyer lift the last few months due to her bone cancer...but it was me, myself, and I, honey...no one else....everyone else had a life, and all, you know...and I gladly did it, never once asking a soul to help...I took care of her medicines, catheters, and all...I even held her the last 4 hours of her life, and held her when she died..I shared the most intimate of death circumstances with her.....I have said this was a "full circle"blessing for I came into this world in her arms and she left this world in mine.....isn't that something to give you chillbumps..it does me,even now, almost 10 years later. I love you, my mom, and always will!!!