Much of this post is going to appear egocentric and some of it is - only because the story I'm about to tell requires a visit down memory lane with lots of photographs.

The timeline of photographs features eras when my body was slender and wrinkle free. It's always a bit trippy for all of us if we're honest. We looked pretty damn fine 45+ years ago! And though my legs now resemble a certain dairy product I can't bear to mention and my face resembles a certain dog breed that sounds like shar pei... that frisky, perky, younger person still resides within... and the best part of all this is that she's also a bit smarter and wiser these days. Well, kinda-sorta.

So, this story begins waaaaay back with photos from late elementary school and then early junior high and then high school. And that's when the story really begins - high school - when I started frosting my hair blonde and sleeping on rollers the size of oil barrels. That's when it all started and my parents planted themselves in a time warp of how they perceived me, and could never let go. In their eyes, I was to always be their little girl with silken, straight blonde hair.

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I can't remember exactly when I stopped spending insane amounts of time and money on my hair, but it was probably around the time my budget started to prioritize with diapers and strained carrots. And then time fast-forwarded through many birthdays and geographical relocations and I was no longer married and certainly couldn't afford high-ticket hair care.

During my fourth decade, I lived in Laguna Beach, CA. My hair was long and curly and natural. My fourth decade was my favorite one... and a lot had to do because I loved my hair. Wild curls were suddenly fashionable!

But as time eroded the years, I found myself constantly deflecting disparaging comments from both my parents. Mind you, these two couldn't agree on the difference between a circle and a square, yet they were in complete concert with all opinions regarding my hair! They loathed my brunette curly hair. Their disdain was astonishing! My mother would say, "Where did you ever get those horrible brown curls!" And my father would say, "Good God, did you just get caught in a wind storm!"

So, about ten years ago, after much verbal *abuse*, I told my mother I would become a blonde again with straight hair if she paid for it. She couldn't whip out her checkbook fast enough.

*****
Despite my mother's passing and the fact I don't see my father very often, I maintained my straight blonde hair for a long time - mostly out of habit and the unlikely probability my father would appear at my front door.

A couple of weeks ago David overheard me talking on the phone - telling someone the story I've just patched together for you. I closed the conversation by observing that I acquiesced to my parents because I realized they missed their little girl - and that when I bleached & straightened my hair again, they were both so pleased and happy.

A few days later, David and I were talking about my portrait that'll be completed sometime this winter. Because most the blonde has grown out, I asked, "Should I color my hair again for its completion?"

David shared that he'd overheard my conversation and this was his response, "Mom, when you changed your hair to blonde you became your parents' little girl again... but we lost our mother."

Um, pretty cool story, huh? So, I'm going to have Emily (the artist) change my hair in the portrait so that I once again look like my children's mother.

There are a million ways I could end this post... with reflections on duty to parents or the love between a parent and child... It's all important and sometimes so hard to balance. But as I see it, I'm also not spending a lot of money every six weeks to maintain blonde hair... and that's a smidgeon of the wiser and smarter me I mentioned earlier.

So, now that you've read my Hairy Story, below is the accompanying photo journal.

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Thank you so much for those of you who visit and take the time to leave a bon mot or two. xoxo



THE YOUNG YEARS AU NATURAL



Elementary School at Harbor Country Day




Pre-Teen


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BLONDE BEGINS



With my beautiful parents - graduating from The Knox School





18 years old




College Junior





College Graduation



BACK TO BRUNETTE






Laguna Beach




My 50th Birthday (love those acrylic nails!)




After I moved to Monteagle




THE NEW BLONDE ME:



Vacationing in Southold, Long Island




The Sewanee Summer Music Festival


Back to Brunette - Back to being the mother of my children



Beautiful Olivia Fritsche and me on my 66th birthday at Ivy Wild in Sewanee, TN

*****

I feel compelled to share that with hindsight vision I was quite the knockout... but I never knew it or felt it. Sadly, my sister and I never felt pretty. Perhaps it was just as well. *smiling*

The person I am today doesn't give a fig about appearances. I like who I am. I like who I see in the mirror.

I have no fear of wrinkles or gray hair or growing old.

I just want the opportunity to grow old.

Um, grow older.