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Day of Whine and Bozos

Corporate silliness hell. Day two.

I arrived at work this morning to find my desk populated with items of droll cheeriness. To the right of my keyboard was a bag of candy. To the left, three pages of word-art enhanced hooey. First, a little homily about a certain race between a fuckin' jackrabbit and a shell-dweller. Original. Then, a little maze for us to widdle away our extra time. Third, a sign--I guess we're supposed to hang it up inside our cubicles--with the stunning words of wisdom, "Follow up and follow through!"

I'm in hell. I know I'm in hell. I can tell because the company sales manager looks like Pat Sajack and we all know that Pat Sajack is the devil.

Either him or Dan Quayle, I can't make up my mind which.

And, AND, it's Tuesday. Tuesday, as we all know, is the day of evil. I mean, you all know it! Monday, at least, has enough guts to be the start of the week. Wednesday is hump day. Thursday and Friday go without needing explanation. But fuckin' Tuesday?

If there is a god, and I get to meet him, and I get to ask him any question I want, I'm going to ask, "So, what was the deal with Tuesdays, anyway?"

And god is probably going to look down, scuff his toe and say,"Well . . .Tuesdays weren't my best work."

Somebody shoot me now, before the cheerleaders get here.

Joseph Haines, signing off from The Edge of The Abyss.

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