Big Mike's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot.

There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear. The black bear says, "You've got 2 choices. One, I maul you to death or two, we have s*x."

Big Mike bends over for the bear. He's sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge. Big Mike heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him.

At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him. The grizzly says, "That was a big mistake. You've got 2 choices. Either I maul you to death or we have s*x." Big Mike bends over once again.

He survives, but he's really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover, and, he's outraged. He heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range.

Sure enough, there's a tap on his shoulder.

He turns around to find an enormous polar bear. The polar bear looks at Big Mike with a puzzled look and says,

"You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?