We Are The Change We Seek
"i got this" - Kenny Wyland

This isn't where I thought I was going to be when I looked forward into my life, but here I am....

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Finding more peace

My favorite class this quarter is Philosophy of Oriental Medicine. After one class, my perception on the world has already changed. Good stuff. Our instructor asked us to write a 3 page paper on an important event in our life so that he could learn about us. I decided to write about Stuart's death and attempted to do so from my Shen (heart or spirit). I just travelled back to the day and wrote down everything I remembered as I relived it. It was very painful as I'm sure you can imagine. I spent quite a bit of the time crying. I realized while writing that there was a very specific thing that has been bothering me this whole time. I hadn't thought about it in a long, long time. It was something that popped up in my memory a couple of times over the last 2 years but I swallowed it back down and ignored it. Well, I'm done with that. I talked to Tierzah on the phone and asked her some questions about Stuart's favorite food and drink, then headed to the store and made a dinner in honor of Stuart. I made my apologies and released the sadness from the past. I sat down this morning and read through my journal entries surrounding his death and didn't cry this time. My chest was still heavy, clearly there is more work to be done. However, I didn't cry this time and that shows progress.

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