You know you live in Florida when anything below 75* is chilly.

We know you are a tourist when your sunburn is a 2nd burn, crimson red and the outline of your bathing suit and sunglasses are somewhat branded into your skin.

You live in Florida if your car constantly has a fine dusting of sand inside & out all the time.

We know your a tourist when you have white ankles and feet because y'all forgot to take off your socks while sightseeing and walking around.

You know you live in Florida when you can recite the hurricane preparation list by heart.

We know you are a tourist when the sight of the mighty Atlantic ocean makes you misty eyed.

You know you live in Florida when it's almost 80* and you are hanging Christmas lights on your house. Plus putting up the Christmas tree.

We know you are a tourist when Mickey Mouse and Cinderella's castle make you get excited.

You know that you live in Florida when the thought of that damn mouse makes you want to stick a fork in your forehead and run screaming from the happiest place on Earth, because your kids have demanded to go there at least twice a year since they were 4.

We know when your a tourist because you've ended up getting jacked because first you went to Miami on purpose and then you were reading a map while your spouse was driving.

You know that you live in Florida when you never want to go to Miami because carrying a 9mm and a knife causes chafing in hot weather.

We know your a tourist when you can't pronounce cities with names like Kissimmee and Weeki Wachee Springs.

You know you live in Florida when you don't have a perpetual tan because you work all day. Those that do are rich or a stripper or work nights at the clubs and bars.
If you do have a perpetual tan it's because you were born that way, clean pools, mow lawns,or work construction.

We know your a tourist when you think we must be so lucky to live here and it's like paradise. Only you aren't here when a hurricane hits and you wonder what will be standing when it's over. It's paradise for the very rich or the very lazy, cuz everyone else just wants a vacation away from paradise. You think the weather is awesome, we want 4 seasons. You hate raking leaves,I can't remember what it's like. You think the Everglades is beautiful, we want big business to stop destroying it an inch at a time.

Come be a tourist visit our state, don't feed the alligators, don't touch the sea turtles eggs on the beach, please understand you are here for a moment but, we live here.
Wear sun screen, DON'T go to Miami without directions and a Spanish dictionary.

And for Christ sakes take off your socks..