Did I ever tell you how I almost got into a slug fest with a woman in a pink pig suit? No I wasn't drunk.

When my 2 youngest were in grade school,they, coupled with my 2 nieces wanted to try out for the Oscar Mayer Wiener commercial. It was being held at our local Winn Dixie grocery store.

The day started normally. I got the little darlings ready
for their auditions. We leave the house,pile in to my truck, I drove a purple SUV at the time..okay stop laughing.
As we go down the street I slow down because they are working on the road. This bulldozer driving asshole backs that huge ass thing out into the road, almost
t-boning my truck on the passenger-side. My daughter is so shocked, she sticks her hand out the window and is able to pat the tire.
I feel my neck starting to lock and my eyes are popping. I ask Mr. construction WTF ? He said to go f**k myself. Really?
I get out of the truck and walk up to this huge thing. He is looking down at me with anger and amazement. I told him come on down big mouth. We go back and forth. I reenter my vehicle. We drive on to Winn Dixie. heehaw

When we park. The girls and I realize that there is cameras and police and tons of activity. Odd but okay. We enter the store I sign them in and we sit down. Still the store seemed oddly active. I shrugged it off. My lil ones butcher, I mean sing and we can finally leave. My mind is on the bulldozer man, I have angry phone calls to make.
Upon leaving weinerville, I see a enormous stuffed cow on a crucifix, being carried by PETA protesters. It's painted like it's bleeding. You can imagine my shock and bewilderment. The girls are horrified and begin as only small children can ,to question why are they doing this.
I see a huge pink pig come flying out the store door. She was dragged from the meat dept. of the store by police. Seems piggy was laying on the floor yelling meat obscenities. go figure. Well now she's outside and yep making her way towards us. Let me tell you a parking lot shrinks considerably when a monster pig is approaching. I pretend not to notice and am trying to get everyone in the truck. Damn..the pig is now next to us..my daughters and my youngest niece are like whatever, but, my older niece is standing there mouth open, eyes bulging, not moving, kinda frozen in place. She's our little airhead, still is at 22.

Miss piggy says to older niece does mommy feed you meat(she means me)? My niece says yes, how about chicken? yep. I start to interject when the pink pig screams, "YOUR MOM'S A MURDERER". Well gosh darn if the whole meat protest doesn't come to screeching halt to watch.
Okay, my necks locking, eyes are popping' and my blood pressure is making me shake.
I take my niece by the hand and move her behind me.
Now me and the pig are nose to snout.
Somehow I manage to stay calm and ask her nicely to leave the kids alone. Do not speak to them , they don't understand. She is still screaming meat is murder, your Mom's a murderer and on & on.
I look down and my niece is holding a pamphlet from the fucking pig with a REAL butchered animal on it. I snatch the pamphlet ,get my Niece in the vehicle. Pivot around and tell this bitch," Fuck you... leave us alone.Go away because you are bothering my kids and inside my anger was doing pop goes the weasel. I'd amove forward she'd step back. That we know that animals get slaughtered. That she should not approach small children and scare the breath out of them. So now if she doesn't take her pink fur covered ass away from my kids, my truck and me I'm gonna call the officers over to throw her in the local pig sty. You know she had shut up but I didn't notice because I was so pissed off & yelling myself. I finished by telling her we were going home to make cheeseburgers on the BBQ. I handed back her literature got in my truck and left.
The kids were laughing and still couldn't believe what just happened. I did explain the pig's point & Peta's point.
They told me they liked meat and felt bad for the animals.

Later I did call the county, reported Bulldozer man. threatened them with OSHA. They could be fined a couple of thousand a day in fines for,no barriers,no flagmen, no warning signs, and entering moving traffic. I called my husband, tell him and when he goes to the road site, Bulldozer-man is gone. He has been moved to a site away from the road, in the middle of no where.

Oh yeah did I mention my husband owns a construction company.
He was torqued, it wasn't pretty, actually Bulldozer-man doesn't know how lucky he was that day.