Well, I haven't had a beer for breakfast or one more for dessert, but I may be picking out my cleanest dirty shirt, as I head for work.

Even with a decent job there are days you just want to walk in at least knowing you could quit anytime without affecting everyone in the rest of your life - just have some sense of freedom. But I suppose it's never been any better. In the old days you either hunted animals or died, raised crops or died, etc.

But in middle age, I find it increasingly hard to just plow away and increasingly hard to imagine dreaming of something else would be anything other than folly and selfishness.

At age 20 I was a follow your bliss kind of guy, now it seems more like selfish, arrogant ambition to have tried to do so.

And I'm not particularly depressed - it's more ambivalence than anything. Now rather than follow my dreams I'd rather just sit on my backside for a while - could that be my bliss for at least a few months? ;^)