I don't believe it.

After a FULL YEAR and then some of back pain every day and night, after drugs and massage and physical therapy and chiropractic, my back is getting better.

I don't know why. Not really something I need to know, I guess. But you know me, the squirrels demand an answer.

Here's what I haven't changed:
- my sleeping position
- my bedtime routine
- my posture (well, not significantly improved)
- my diet (I'm eating more, not less)
- my exercise (though I'd like to get the EFF on it)

What has changed:
- I discontinued two medications
- I began taking a calcium/magnesium supplement each night

That's it.

Now, of course I have no real proof of causation here, only of correlation. But if I think for even a moment that my stupid meds were creating a physical situation that prolonged an injury for a year, I get sad. I think of all the frustration I've had, the confused chiropractor and massage therapists, the daily pain and therefore the daily pain medications. I don't relieve myself of responsibility for things such as being fat or having poor postural habits; those are mine, and I know it.

But for whatever reason, be it calcium, or cessation of other meds, or serendipity, or the guidance of a Hand from Beyond, I accept that I am pain-free more of the time.

I am pain free in this moment.

And for that I am grateful.