I work three days a week.

Monday was bad.

Today was worse.

It was crazy teenage girl day.

Unfortunately, that wasn't just at the office. Miss Teen currently has no door to her room. She has slammed it one too many times and this morning we made good on a threat and removed the door to her room. She gets it back in two days, if she can act more human.

Then there was the office.

It was crazy teenage girl day there too.

This afternoon I saw the 14 year old that dresses like a 'ho and always seems to get a sore throat right around test time. I have been seeing this child since she was born and she is a disaster just waiting to happen. Her chart is thick, she has never been significantly ill but she believes she is. I've seen her in the mall with her boyfriend and it is just a matter of time before she is a mama herself.

Then we had the 17 year old who tells everyone she is bisexual which is OK if it's true, but she is really just saying that to yank her mother's chain. Successfully, I might add. She was in for "heavy periods". This is usually code for "I want birth control and can't really discuss it with my mom". Of course mom was with her and in the room.

Earlier in the afternoon we had her 18 year old chronically depressed, anxiety disordered sister. Her sister's anxiety manifests itself in the form worrying obsessively about whether she is pregnant or has gotten HIV. Every time she comes in she wants a pregnancy and HIV test. Her psychiatrist considers it a good month when she doesn't get herself tested for either.

Next up is the true hypochondriac 16 year old who only manages to get to school once a week. Ever since her crazy mother reentered her life, she has been "sick". Today she was convinced that she had a bladder infection. She had the cleanest urine sample I've seen all month.

And to add the icing to the crazy day, I had a new patient. 17 years old, anorexic, bulemic, sexually active, no period for the past 4 months, failed the school drug test because of Ecstasy use, my mother just doesn't understand me, 4.2GPA, classic patient.

Quite frankly, after the last two work days I've had I am scared to go back on Friday.