Why is it when the kids are out of school, the weather is beautiful, and I am not. in. the. mood. to work that the office is overflowing with patients? I ran one hour behind this morning. I am not a doctor who runs more than 30 minutes behind and even that is rare.

Why is it that adolescent patients usually take 3 minutes to see because they do not want to to talk to you, but today every one I saw (12) wanted to talk and talk and talk about things like their weight, college plans, eating habits, anger issues, sex, drugs and rock and roll? (Think that might have something to do with running an hour behind schedule?)

Why did the state of Louisiana suddenly change the sports physical form so that it is now 4 pages long, requires a hearing test, vision test, urine sample, blood count, complete social and family medical history, development assessment, and complete immunization record? (It is a great form, but a little warning that something that used to take one appointment slot, now takes 2 or 3 would have been nice)

Why did my husband, with whom I work, want to ask me questions about the vacation he is planning with the kids while I was trying to see the morning patients? (That one is easy, he has a death wish)

Why did the pediatrician who works for me on Tuesdays and Thursdays decide to take this week off to go to Paris? A better question would be, why not?

Why did my last patient of the day pinch me and hard? (Because I was in a funky mood and he is autistic)

I asked a 5 year old today if he had been vomiting or having diarrhea:
Patient: No
Me: Do you know what vomiting is?
Patient: Throw up
Me: Do you know what diarrhea is?
Patient: Butt juice.