Listening: "Good Religion," "Give a Man a Home," "Amazing Grace," Blind Boys of Alabama
I'd rather be: somewhere other than work

More questions, more answers. }:>

Got any questions? Desire any? Lemmeeno...


From the Firewolf:

1.What is the one thing you like the best about the Cam and the one thing you hate the most about the Cam? Why?

To both: The people that I’ve met. Nearly all of my friendships I have right now are because of the Cam so it’s forced me to go out and be social which has led to many cool opportunities to get to know people.

Course the Cam has also taught me that some people are not worth getting to know.

2. When did you realize that you wanted to be a director? What made you choose theatre over film?

In high school it seemed like fun and then when I actually directed a few pages of Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead for my class. I had such a great time doing it and it felt *good* to lead them to a production that made me happy. I mean, it was such a high when I saw them perform onstage and felt the audience hold it’s breath and then react just like I planned.

It’s probably the manipulative/bossy side of me that gets the most out of it, but really I’m drawn to artistic statements and storytelling and the stage combines that really, really well.

I never chose theatre over film. Film was just never on my radar. I mean I know it’s there and I know in some hypothetical sense I could direct a film but I’m fairly certain the two are about as similar as a gerbil and a walrus. Theatre seems less fussy and is so much closer to reality within reality I seriously don’t understand it when people chose film over theatre. (I understand fame & money, but that’s not choosing film over theatre, that’s choosing fame & money over theatre.)

3. Someone offers you a job as a theatre director. You'll make more than enough money to live off of and have as much creative say in your works as you wish. However, the job is in the middle of someplace like Iowa or Nebraska. In other words, the middle of nowhere. Do you leave LA and take the job? Why or why not?

Sure. The Midwest is not as backward as you think and there’s actually a thriving theatre scene there.

Course I would probably hate the weather and bitch non-stop to all the locals about how shitty their hometown was and kindly explain how I’m only making up for all their kids who have moved to LA and are currently making it a miserable place to live, what with all their bitching.... Fair's fair, after all.

I’d miss LA, that’s for sure, but She’s not going anywhere.

The problem would be someplace that actually doesn’t have a theatre scene – mostly rural places. Then I’d have a problem. Not because the weather would suck but because the audience wouldn’t be there. That’s half the show.

4. All things considered are you happy that you were friends with Marc Chan? Do you ever miss him?

Meh. He dragged me to my first Cam game. That was important (see above). But honestly? No. I don’t remember many good things about being his friend, and that’s somewhat unfortunate, because I know there *were* good parts. I just remember the little hurts, the extra work, paying his way, his ingratitude, him flaking and his “harmless” lies. Among other things.

The thing is New Year's '98 was really the last straw. I mean it was big straw, but it was what made me realize I was making excuses for putting up with someone who wasn't worthy of my time.

I don’t miss him and I don’t miss trying to explain that he’s not some misunderstood Dark Prince, but a sociopathic jerk.

5. You can hit one person in the nuts (or, if female, somewhere else) with a brick. You won't get in any trouble for this. Who do you hit and why?

David S. You likely don’t know him. You’re much happier that way, trust me. He has it coming.

At least, I would if I were the sort of person who thought violence was ok. But if that were the case I would already be in jail for the vicious assault on a certain dead beat dad. Trust me, it’s not the law that has kept certain folks alive.

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From Rachel:

1.How did you get sucked into a Sandman live game?

I willingly went. }:> I was big fan of the Sandman series and was LARPing avidly in the Camarilla and in a troupe game called Nightfall. Richard B. ran Nightfall and loved plugging his friends’ projects. This included Andy Ashcraft, who, while he had moved up north, was still missed in the Nightfall universe (he had a very effective Corax PC – that’s were-raven to the uninitiated).

The invitation mentioned that there were several major roles left unfilled and I gambled that Despair was one of them. I was right, and I had a blast (though, no, I didn’t wander around naked; I wore a very nice blue dress with my hair up in a messy bun and stared at the world with a baleful frown).

2. What attracts you to the theater?
I love reinventing reality and testing its boundaries, I love metafiction and believe art to be the one true way of investigating the human condition. This combines with a deep love for stories to become live theatre.

Theatre is dangerous, it’s singular, it’s alive and in the moment and no two performances will ever be exactly identical. It’s these little changes that tell us the most about humans and the world we live in. I want a life in art and making people think and understand that their lines of reality are there because of consensus, and that consensus can be fucked with.

It’s a tremendous high to observe the interaction that I’ve designed between an audience and a cast grow and feed on itself until it culminates in collectively held breaths and eventually fulminates into cheers.

I haven’t been able to find the communion that live theatre affords anywhere else. It’s a power trip, a mindfuck, truth and beauty all at the same time.

3. Are there specific indicators that you are looking for to tell you when to start actively seeking a new job?

Um. When I get fired?

I absolutely hate job hunting. Think a thousand fiery suns. That’s how much I hate it.

In 1999, when employment was the highest it had been in ages I was flitting between temp gigs, barely making ends meet and my self-esteem had found new depths for itself. There were days I couldn’t get out of bed and I hurt myself so that I could actually see the hatred I had for myself.

So I’m not in a hurry to return to that.

The main reason I’m not looking now is laziness. The money is cushy and secure enough that I don’t want to tangle myself up with new hurdles when the current job just requires doing enough work to not get fired and avoiding a couple of people in management.

4. How do you find your cultural upbringing affecting your everyday life? And do you feel like you look at things differently than people raised with a different heritage? Similarities?

First I should explain that my cultural upbringing consists of my Mexican mother and her family that has mostly been in Mexico and my Mexican-American dad and his family who mostly lives in the city of Orange. It also includes Sesame Street and other English-language television, primary school teachers who thought I would have to be taught English and placed me in slow-reading groups and white school kids who regularly wanted me to “say something in Spanish.”

Being bicultural is in no way fun or cool. It’s a strenuous balancing act. Imagine standing on two rafts, one foot on each raft, both rafts floating over water filled with misunderstanding, distrust and confusion. Imagine doing that at the tenderest years of your youth. That was me.

In the honors program of my high school the system was meant to be more holistic, but many units were taught in the rote tradition of is-or-is-not. We were taught to analyze data from every discipline within the context it came in. I was really good at this and I think I still am. But this is a strongly Western European tradition.

So while I think about the concrete things about everyday life from what I think is a “white” standard – logic, cost/risk, context and ultimately, the utility of something; I feel that my instincts, my id, if you will, run toward home. When I first encounter something I react, sometimes deep down where it will never surface, by considering my feelings for it and the condition it puts me in. I have been given to major mood swings and while my friends shy away with quiet advice to eat something before I set the building on fire, I’ve seen the same in my family and no one, but no one, shies away from a fight.

I have to admit I’m having trouble with these questions simply because I don’t truly know how other people look at things on an everyday basis. I know my friends’ interests…I know that I was raised with less nostalgia and more respect…. But I can’t honestly say that it’s because of my upbringing that I tend to be so outspoken, or that in social situations I don’t like to attract attention.

So therefore it’s hard to pick out important similarities. It’s not a cultural issue to love and wish to protect children, it’s not a cultural thing to desire to keep a family close, I don’t believe my culture’s values are much more different than anyone else’s – honesty, integrity, respectability, self-reliance, etc.

But it’s funny: when I encounter a word I don’t know it’s usually in the written form and I nearly always try to pronounce it in Spanish right off the bat.

5. What was your greatest fear that you overcame and found yourself stronger for it?

I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know of any fears that I’ve really over come. Even the ones I just plow through are still there and still come up when I need to do it again. Stage fright works the same as it ever has as does arguing with someone who has power over me.



Questions? Comments? Concerns?