Dear Spammers,

I do not want, nor do I believe I will want at any point in my near (or far) future, to "grow a dick as big as Shaq's" as you so cordially put it over a dozen separate times in your recent emails to me. Thanks, but no... I appreciate your concern about my "manhood" and your many many offers of medications and supplements throughout the past couple of years, but I think you may have missed the fact that I am female and therefore, I do not have a penis.

Best Regards,
Thea Rivera