ok. midyears are looming! and my inner nerd has apparently awakened. i am getting panicky and nervy and all and trying to mug it all up.
which is a good thing i suppose.

except that... life would be so much better if i was just a slacker. urg. i hate econs. its ruining my life. i really dont see the need for me to know. it all seems so common sensical and econs just takes all that sense and dumps in so many technical terms that it becomes complicated.

clearly i am tired from mugging.

tmr, thursday and friday is track camp. and i shall go back to stnicks for that. i dont think i want to explore the topic of how much i miss track and team and being a tracker. it not like i was fantastic at it. frankly, i pretty much sucked at my event.i must be the slowest sprinter that ever lived. and me as a hurdler was a big joke. i mean, hello. i have stubs for legs. but somehow i miss it. i guess its the people and being in a team, going through shit together. i'm thoroughly convinced that i shall never quite find an experience like that ever again.

i miss being part of a bigger picture.
for now at least, i feel like i am just... some isolated thing.