So, it's been a while since I've posted...again. I know that I planned to post every week, but it's hard to muster the energy lately. While having money is nice, work is exhausting, and it eats up most of my time, and leaves me too tired to do much when I have time.

On top of the basic exhaustion that is work, life has been interesting. I've been doing pretty much all of what little housework gets done around here, because Ben won't and Dad can't help. Ben manages to basically live at his girlfriend's house, and basically sits like a lump when he does come by the house, complaining that he is exhausted from rehearsal and class.

Dad, meanwhile, is scaring the shit out of me again. Last week, he got back from a weeklong trip to Buffalo, Toronto, and the New York City area. He was home for two days, and then flew up to the Bay Area for his father's birthday. Unfortunately, he didn't fly back until this Tuesday night, 5 days later. Dad had some trouble breathing towards the end of his long trip, and it came back when he went up north. He went in to the hospital, for what was supposed to be an overnight observation stay. Instead, he had attacks of his congestive heart failure and renal failure overnight, and ended up hospitalized.

All now seems well, and he is back, and in one piece. He's also now officially on kidney dialysis, since they had to start it up north to save his life. He lost over 30 pounds in 4 days from the process, and it's really bizarre to look at him now. He can't get over it either, and he keep asking where the rest of him went.

God, I am tired of all this. I think this is the 4th or 5th time that I've gone through a period of wondering whether or not he is going to die. I still get scared, but there's also a kind of numbness that I feel, like I don't want to commit to the fear and the sadness until I really know things are as dire as I think. Of course, Dad told me that this time, he thought he was going to die, so I had good reason to be afraid for him.

So, anyway, I wanted to go ahead and post, and let people know why I haven't been saying much of anything lately.