The put our feet in the water, read a book together thing worked for two lessons. For the last four, David has spent the first half of his swim lesson sitting on the side. It was getting to be a little ritual, him wrapped up in his towel. None of my parenting strategies were working--making not swimming less fun than swimming, bargaining, I had even gotten to bribing--hey if you take your whole lesson, you can use the blowdryer. He said great and then didn't get in the water. Today, I sat in the bleachers and thought about how well it had gone this summer, and I decided swimming is important; we'll work on it again next summer. So, I got my money back and told him we were done.

My fear is he'll think to himself, hmm, whining, resisting, cajoling are effective techniques, I'll up my use of them. On other hand, I consistently don't bring cups of water for boys who whine for them or demand them in a rude voice; when I say this is all the dessert you are getting, more dessert does not magically appear on your plate; and we have so many places in our life--getting into the car to pick up Rose, getting out of the car to get Rose, taking Isabelle in our carpool, cleaning the bathroom, brushing his teeth--that may involve some negotiation but I always win no matter the temper tantrum he pulls, that I'm hoping he'll get the big picture message.