So this weekend had it's ups and downs. I'll start with the things Berek did not post about.

Bright and early on Saturday morning we had an appointment at Calamigos Ranch in Malibu as a potential wedding site. I can tell you though, it isn't potential anymore. It IS the site for our wedding. The only question is, which venue? This place is absolutely gorgeous and it's perfect! We were looking for something that was garden-like, but the actuality of it was none of the gardens we looked at jumped out at us. This place is very woodsy and secluded. In any case, this place just 'felt right'. We weren't really looking to have anything done indoors, but they have one venue that could be indoor or outdoor (as far as the reception goes) and the other is an indoor reception, but it's awesome! We're trying to decide between these two venues because they both had things that we really liked, but I think we're leaning more towards the Garden patio because they have a waterfall right outside the windows and it looks like it's raining even if it isn't. :)

Berek and I were very excited as we headed to Borders for some last minute gifts. I called my mom and (here's where the annoyance begins) she plainly told me not to close my mind to other places. (I have an appointment this coming Saturday at the Malibu Nature Preserve.) I tried to explain to her that I will look at other places, but that I thought we had found the site. This didn't matter. *sigh*

I headed over to my mom's house later that afternoon because I was supposed to help bake cookies with her. I discussed with my parents about this place. The price is right and it includes practically everything except the photographer, the cake, the dj, and the decorations. I said that we wanted to take both sets of parents to the site at some point (separately or together) to get their opinions on the venue. First, my mom flipped out about the price. Second, she didn't like the idea that I was so set on this place. She reiterated that I should keep an open mind to this other place and keep looking.

We made several batches of cookies and I ate some chinese food that they had, intermittently. Later that night I sat down with her and went over the costs of Calamigos and explained to her that the other places he and I had seen were way more expensive and you got less for your buck. She did understand that when I showed her the break down of the costs. That was something at least. Unfortunately, we got to talking about something for the bridesmaids and while she had a great idea, I didn't think it was what I wanted. She kept pushing the idea and I told her again that it isn't want I wanted. My dad mentioned that it was my wedding at that it should be whatever I wanted, but this was the wrong thing to say because she got really pissed off and shut down. She wouldn't talk to me and she was just being a brat. It is our wedding (meaning mine and Berek's) and we are looking to do certain things. While opinions are appreciated, they won't always be used. My mom doesn't seem to understand this. Now apparently, she is withdrawing herself from the entire process and has simply said, "you do what you want." She's playing her passive-aggressive card now to make me feel guilty. It's not working, although I want her to stop this nonsense, I'm not giving in to her.

To make matters worse, on Christmas Eve, I was struck with a bout of diarrhea. *sigh* I know, TMI, but there is a point as to why I needed to say it. So just after dinner I started feeling sick. Then I went to the bathroom. My mom was in the kitchen making the Christmas drink. She got pissy because I was taking so long. When I did come out I made mention of the Chinese food and that it wasn't sitting well. Well my mom suddenly got super defensive about it and said, "Well Chinese food always does that." I explained to her that it doesn't do it to me all the time. I said it must've been because I let it sit out while we were baking and it got too warm in the kitchen and it turned. Suddenly, she burst out with, "Oh you're just a hypochondriac!" and "You always come up with this crap!" I was completely offended. Berek said, "No, I think she knows what made her sick." Well, suddenly she turned her eyebeams on him and said, "Look, I'm gonna tell you something Berek, I've lived with her for 20 years. I know she is. (a hypochondriac)My mother saw it and I see it." At this point, I was fuming as was Berek. I told him to stop because it wasn't worth it. We did, but she kept it up. At one point while she was in the kitchen cleaning up stuff, she looked out at me (as we were watching a movie) and gave me the "You better get your lazy ass in here and help" look. (Note: My mom never asks for help. You just have to know, or she'll say something like, "It'd be nice if you'd come and help.") So I went and started putting the chips and appetizers away. She started mumbling, "...making me sound stupid, well I can tell you that you are a hypochondriac, I know it." I just stayed silent. I wanted to cry. I was so tired of being trampled over by her. One moment, she's so cool and then next she's so mean. My Christmas was ruined. This was at the end of the night. She sulked through the entire movie and didn't talk to me unless she had to. (The same for Berek.) We went home and I was crushed. I felt like I could barely breathe. I had a pain in my chest (not the heart attack kind, but the heart ache kind.). She hurt me and she'll never know it because she sees it as an injustice to her.

So that was my exhausting Christmas vacation. *Sigh* Hopefully this weekend will be better, but I doubt it. *sigh* Besides, we have a memorial to go to at some point.