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After a gap, I'd usually read my last post to see where I'd got to, but I can't tonight. I know it was bad and it's now a bit better - I don't want to look at where I was in case I get sucked back towards that place out of shame.

I've had a sudden flurry of support, out here in Real Life. One of my nieces made and sent me a beautiful card. There have been phone calls, most significantly from a couple I used to be very close to (I was there for the birth of their second daughter), but lost touch with, probably when teaching ate my life. They had a son a few months before my son was born - their boy was killed in a car crash four years ago, and when they heard about ED, they called and invited me round for tea and cake. We all cried a lot (obviously, don't I always? Crying Anna, that's me). It wasn't exactly comforting being with them talking all this over, but it was strengthening.

I'm still at YD's but may have a go at going home tomorrow. I had been having wild obsessive thoughts, but they seem to have settled down a bit. I also had an assessment today for seeing a bereavement counsellor, which was agreed on, but there's a long wait.

So that's me for now. Still here, one foot forward, then the other. And again. And again.

I am grateful for: making it through; walking; photo-a-day; yoga; bed

Hope you are all well, dear friends xxx

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