Again, I'll throw the excerpt in a little later, when I'm slightly more coherent.


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Location: Work.
Pervasive Sensation: Dry. Everything is very dry.
Listening: "Cloud On My Tongue" ~Tori Amos

Recovering from the Fourth of July party that my friend Chris (commonly known as "Williams") threw at his apartment in Palms yesterday/last night. It wasn't anywhere near catastrophic in scope--more of a gathering of friends involving sporadic grilling, quiet conversations, The Simpsons and The Twilight Zone, and slow but steady alcohol consumption. We arrived about an hour into it and were the last to leave this morning, finally getting into Long Beach around two o'clock.

I drank far too much. My joints are stiff, my skin is dry and has that papery sensation, my head is constantly threatening to throb into a migraine...I know better. At some point last night, I shifted from Eddies (rum drinks that Williams makes--very yummy, but very sweet) to vodka; vodka will always make me ill the next day. I'm not entirely sure why--I don't think I'm allergic (an ex of mine was violently allergic to vodka and my reactions are nothing near that scope), but there's definitely something to the fact that I always end up feeling creaky and exhausted after having even a little bit.

I've been drinking far too much far too often lately. I'm not sure why. I doubt that there's some sinister subconscious motive to it. For about two years in college, I was a textbook alcoholic and I recognize that I'll drink with or without clear reason--although last night, as is often the case, I was feeling by turns bored and very removed from those milling around me. Alcohol is easy and it might very well be the only substance I've ever used consistently that I feel I need to be a little more careful with. I have certain little rules I hold myself to and one of them is that if I recognize that I've started drinking out of habit again, I rein myself in a little. I much prefer to be sober anyway--if for no other reason than that alcohol makes me sleepy (I fell asleep in the car last night as we were driving home and I really dislike doing that). Peter also gave me a lovely bottle of my favorite Scotch (Lagavullin) the other night and I want to save it for occasions...so no more alcohol for a while.

There was nitrous as well. I'll expound on this later, but it's still a little odd to me that I'm just absolutely uninterested in drugs.

I'm getting old.

Bah. Still achy. I plan to take lunch in about an hour, drive home and fall into bed next to a warm boy for a nap. For the moment, I have to try to get some work done.